Hermione Granger x female reader one shots

Reality of Hogwarts 2

A/N: look at the first one to understand
——————————————————
You: what do doctors do after they take your blood, test it, and give you the results do they just throw it out.
Hermione: y/n-not right now-
You: mione!, my body worked hard for that blood and for what?!, so they could throw it away, smh, some world we live in.
Hermione: absolute idiot
You: *gasps* the disrespect
*you face away from Hermione and pretend that your on a reality tv show talking to a camera*
You: the audacity, such hateful words from my own girlfriend *dramatic gasp*
Hermione: *slowly turns her head to look at you*
Hermione: love are you feeling alright
————————————————
You: Hermione have I ever told you how much I love and adore you
Hermione: ....many times yes
You: your very beautiful and I'm so blessed to have you
Hermione: y/n
You: your amazing and what would I ever do without you
Hermione: what do you want Y/n
You: there's.......this homework assignment due tomorrow and I kinda accidentally never started it *awkward smile*
Hermione: give it to me *annoyed sigh*
You: I love yo-
Hermione: I know *eye roll*
——————————————————
You: I HATE YOU!
Hermione: I HATE YOU MORE
You: I HATE YOU MORER
Hermione: THATS NOT A WORD Y/N
You: whatever
Hermione: whatever
*you both go your in separate directions*
George: Ahh *chef kiss*
Fred: young love *dreamy sigh*
—————————————————-
You: Harry whats Hermione's type
Harry: Ron, mate
You: Luna what's Hermione's type
Luna: I believe it's Ronald Weasley
You: Ginny what's Hermione's type
Ginny: Ron
You: so what hearing is I need to have red hair, excessive-eating habits, and be a complete and utter idiot and she'll like me?
Everyone: precisely
You: That's great I'm already two of those I just need hair dye, brb guys
*Hermione walks in shortly after you leave*
Hermione: you know she's never gonna ask me out if you guys keep saying I like Ron
Everyone: we know it's just fun
————————————————
You: Hermione-
Hermione: no
You: but-
Hermione: nope
You: I-
Hermione: I don't fancy you Y/N
You: I was gonna ask if you did the potions homework but thanks for destroying my already low ego
*you see Luna pass by*
You: Hey Luna-
Hermione: I DO FANCY YOU
You: bloody hell woman I was just going to ask if she did the potions homework
—————————————————
*Ron and Harry slip veritaserum into Hermione's drink during lunch*
Harry: who would you 
Hermione: Y/n, y/n can rail me
Harry: *awkwardly finishes sentence* save from a burning building, me or Ron you can only pick one
Hermione: *answers truthfully trying to hide her embarrassment* I'd probably be able to save both your skinny arses
*you walk into the great hall and the golden trio just stares at you*
You: what?
*Harry gives you Hermione's drink*
Harry: drink this Y/n
You: ok...*drinks*
Harry: who would you-
You: Hermione, hermione can get it any day, any place, and any time
Harry: SAVE FROM A BURNING BUILDING GODRIC WOMAN
Ron: Harry I think it's best we leave
*you and Hermione stare at each other*
You: Room of Requir-
Hermione: yes
—————————————————
*you have a GP in this*
*Harry and Ron are bickering back and forth about who has the biggest dick*
Harry: I do
Ron: I do mate
Harry: not possible I clearly do
Hermione: you guys haven't asked y/n she has the biggest dick out of all of you and Ive never even seen yours'
You: what can I say, I'm a full package
*Harry and Ron at the same time*
Harry:You've seen her dick!?
Ron: She has a dick!?
Hermione: what a lovely day for a walk
Ron: y/n show us
You: wtf Ron
—————————————————-
*you just came back from a heated make out session with Hermione and see Harry and Draco Making out in the Gryffindor common room*
You: guys that's a little gay
—————————————————
Ron: why is Hermione sitting on your lap I thought you hated and her hated eachother
You: I don't know, she just sat down and won't get up
Hermione: shut up I still hate you
You: see
Harry: makes perfect sense to me
—————————————————
Hermione: *walks into the Gryffindor common room crying with you behind her*
Ron: what happened
Harry: are you alright mione
Hermione: Y/n said she didn't love me today
You: I did not
*Ron and Harry confused*
Hermione: yes you did
You: I said we can't get 15 cats crookshanks will be completely fine with two or three
Hermione: it sounds the same to me *wails*
Ron and Harry: ohhhh
—————————————————-
You: I hate hugs
Hermione: *hugs you*
*you make a disgusted face*
You: but please...do it again
—————————————————-
(A/N: this one was originally supposed to be a one shot, should I make it one or keep it like this?)
*you saw Hermione and Ron kiss and
Harry comforts you and asks you how you feel, unbeknownst that Hermione was listening*
Harry: how do you feel?
Harry: do you want me to get you some chocolates
You: she's a, she's a lady, and I am not a boy...
Harry: Y/n.....
You: she's a, she's a lady and I am just a line without a hook
You: oh Harry I am a wreck when I'm without her
Harry: I know y/n, it hurts but you'll find someone who appreciates you and loves you as much as you love them
—————————————————-
*your in Divination, sitting next to Hermione* (let's pretend she didn't drop the class)
*Hermione gets a 96 on a divination test*
Hermione: oh fuck me *angry sigh*
You: I would if I could
Hermione: who said you couldn't
You: Professor me and Hermione need to go to the bathroom, we're having lady issues
—————————————————-
Harry: what do you identify as Y/n
Hermione: oh Godric here we go
You: it's 2020 I can be whatever I want
Harry: and that is?
You: a light switch in Hermione's dorm
Harry: why
Hermione: why, just why
You: because Hermione turns me on
————————————————
A/N: this has been in my drafts for awhile so I decided to publish it
That's it
Byeeee
-Anonymous