New Beginning

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

After I finished my meeting with my new agent, Dorinda, from the help of my lovely friend Chris I was left feeling great. Tomorrow, we'll be brainstorming how we'll build this business. I decided I wanted to go with the name "R. Simone Cosmetics". This whole experience was so surreal to me. I owed Chris so much. He was sooo amazing. I've been trying to hang out with him, but Danny has been on my ass since I returned.

"Hey, bae I've been thinking about what we should do for Valentines Day. I want to take you on trip," Danny began. He and I were chilling in the living room as he rubbed my feet.

"That sounds nice Danny. Where to," I asked.

"Wherever you want to go. I just been feeling disconnected from you these last few weeks."

"Yeah, well that's what happens when you have to try to balance time between your wife and demanding mistress," I replied sarcastically with an eye roll. He smacked his lips.

"Man. Here you go. I'm trying to find a way to rekindle our marriage and you talking about irrelevant shit. Stop it with the negativity."

I laughed straight in his face. I mean, tears and all. "You're a joke Daniel you know that? You think a trip is going to just magically fix everything? I'm not being negative. I'm speaking facts."

"So what you want me to do then?"

"You serious right now? Let me see your phone," I held out my hand.

"For what dude?"

"I'm trying to answer your question."

"You don't need my phone to communicate with me like an adult."

"Nigga give me the got damn phone," I reached over and snatched it with complete force. He jumped up trying to retrieve it. "Back the fuck up!" I scrolled through his messages and sure enough there was Ms. Amiyah, all throughout.
"Yeah, I'm about to pull up. I had to stop and get some condoms," I read his texts out loud trying to sound like him.
"Okay boo. I was just making sure you were good," I read Amiyah's response in a girly, high pitched voice.
"So bitch you wanna know what you can do?! Like deadass you asking me that? I don't think it takes rocket science my nigga," I said chunking his phone. I rose up off the couch hovering over in his face. Although, I know I just did my dirt it still baffles me that this nigga is consistently fucking this girl. After assuring me he was going to stop working with her.

"I'm sorry Raya damn. I know it won't change how you feel, but what's been going on with you? You been acting so different," he accused looking at me as if he didn't recognize me. I gave him the same expression.

"Daniel," I placed my hands together forcing myself to calm down. "You've been playing my ass since I was 21 years old. 21 and carrying your children that you basically worried me to have! You got me knocked up, only to dog me out the entire pregnancy. You made me feel insecure for years! Constantly made me feel like I had to compete with these bitches when I'm your wife! You wanna know why I stay in the gym? Because I feel like the minute I look any less than decent you'll full blown throw me to the curb. Anything I do to try to prove to you that I'm worth it , you dismiss it entirely. Do you know how hard it is on me trying to be whatever the hell I'm not to you?? Then whenever I build the courage to leave you, you make me feel like I can't stand on my own two feet. You don't get my pain because through it all I never stopped pouring love into you. You drained me of my heart and you ask me why I am the way I am?? I'm damaged!!"
Hot tears slid down my face as I hit my chest. "Danny look at me! Look at what you did to me!"
Danny gave me a sorrowful stare as he shook his head.

"Raya, I'm so sorry. I didn't know... I don't even know what to say."

"What can you say Danny? I've been getting apologies for quite some time now. It's fine. I'm growing and I'm so damn proud of myself. One day, I'm going to be good without you. I just hope you understand it will be sooner than later." With that I walked off leaving him to think on it. I'm not going to sit around here any longer making a nigga realize my worth. I've been the fool for too long now. I can't be that girl anymore.

After I got home from picking up the twins Danny moved around me like he was walking on eggshells. Whole time I wasn't even stunting him. I actually felt more relieved to have got that off my chest if anything. So whenever I dump his ass to the curb I don't need any misunderstandings. I'm becoming more at peace with letting go.

"Mama," Ryan asked me. I was sitting at my desk reading my plethora of emails regarding my make up line. I watched as his little legs power walked as fast as they could toward me.

"Yes baby what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing," he settled on the couch across me. "I was just wondering can I get a puppy?"

"A puppy," I asked with an eyebrow raise. "What brought this on?"

"I saw this lady walking her puppy so I think I want one too."

"You want a big one or small one?"

"A big one," he said eagerly.

"How big?"

"Like this big," he outstretched his arms wide as he could go.

"Oooh that's pretty big! Well, I'll tell you what. If you can show me that you can keep your room cleaned and do your homework without me or your dad asking you all this week then I will tell your father we owe you a puppy. Deal," I asked extending my hand so he could shake it. He quickly ran over to me.

"Deal!"

"Okay baby. Now you get out of here. That week starts today so I hope I don't see any toys on the floor tonight before you go to sleep."

"Yes ma'am," he ran off to look for his sister and tell her the news. I chuckled before I got back to work. I spent majority of the rest of my night, brainstorming and creating. By the time I got to my room Danny was already knocked out. I looked at him as he peacefully laid there.
"How could you hurt me like this Daniel? I thought you loved me," I whispered aloud. I got up and got ready to take my shower so I could talk to Chris before I called it a night.

Another boring filler chapter, sorry guys 😩