New Beginning

CHAPTER FOUR

Later on that evening I cooked a little meal for my family and I. When the twins and I finished eating we decided on decorating and baking some sugar cookies. I made it my business to make sure I spent any time I could with my children because it wasn't that way when I was growing up. My father did what he could to be involved in my life and my mom was just my mom. She fancied her time on other things like wine tastings and shopping with the women in our neighborhood. In all reality, my nanny Mrs. Faye, was my mom. She was there to help me purchase my first bra, she was there when I started my period, she was there when I got my heart broken, lost my virginity, and everything else in between. I assume that's why my thought process wasn't like my mother's because Mrs.Faye raised me up on morals and knowing right from wrong. She was my everything and it hurt me to my core when she passed away from cancer a few years ago. That's one pain I could never forget. Mrs. Faye taught me a lot and one thing was to shower my children with abundance of love and to actually give a fuck with what concerns them.

"Hey mom," Ryan asked. We were all around the kitchen island decorating our personal cookies. I had the oven heated up and ready to go.

"Yes Ry?"

"What is a divorce?"

My eyes shot up at him as he stayed focus on his cookies.

"I'm asking because a girl in my class was crying today. She said her parents got a divorce."

"Yup, she had to go home because she wouldn't stop crying," Dainelle added. "I don't know what it is either but if it'll make me cry like that I hope you and daddy never do it."

My heart was crushed to know my children felt like that. Divorce wasn't on my mind now, but I have thought about it on numerous occasions. I knew deep down in my heart it was something I wanted to do, but probably not soon.

"So what is it mom," Ryan continued to ask not letting go of the subject.

"Well," I began. "A divorce is when two people that were married decide to break up and not be married again."

"So they won't be husband and wife anymore?"

"No Ryan they won't."

"What happens after that?"

"If they lived together. That means someone will move out or they'll both move somewhere else on their own. They won't talk to each other that much anymore unless they have kids and that would only be because they'll need to make sure they can both see their kids equally."

"So that means Jamie won't get to see her mom and dad every day," Danielle asked.

"Yes baby that's right. But just because parents get divorced doesn't mean it's all bad between them or that they don't love each other. Sometimes parents want different things in life and they know it'll be better if they do those things separately."

"I like to see my parents every day. I'm glad you guys love each other a lot so you don't have to get a divorce," Ryan said finally. I didn't reply, I just placed a small smile on my face happy that the conversation was over. If I left Danny they probably wouldn't understand until they were older.

"It smells good in here," Danny shouted from the front door. The twins both jumped down from the high chairs to greet their father while I stayed in place waiting for him to come in the kitchen.

"Hey baby," he kissed my forehead. Ry and Dani was talking his ears off while he washed his hands. "You okay?," he asked me. I didn't realize I was in deep thought until he nudged me a little.

"Oh yeah I'm good. You want me to make your plate," I asked and he nodded walking away probably to go upstairs and change. "Y'all come on so I can put the cookies in the oven now."