Wild Baleigh love 2️⃣☑️

21. I have to be strong.

Tleigh's pov

In the life of me, I never knew there was such a bitter feeling that existed. Even when my mom left us, I never felt this way.
How long will it take for this feeling to finally ebb away? Will it actually ebb?

It's been four freaking days since I left Hudson and Ballice without his knowledge or consent for that matter and that was the hardest decision I've ever made in my life.

When I'm alone, I'm sobbing and yelling my guts out, my cries being muffled by the pillows. I really don't know that any single word could possibly encompass all of these emotions and the raw intensity of them.

I've been to the damn depths of hell and back, yet I don't believe that it hurt nearly as badly as this does. It's like my heart has been torn apart. Not crushed, not shattered, but torn. Ripped.

He simply took a bit of me with him the second I knew it was a done deal. That's when Odessa texted me those ten letter words, Hurt him bad, make him believe you don't love him.

Spoiler alert: I love him so fucking much and way too deeper. More than I love myself and that's why it hurts this way, right?

I'm supposed to keep going despite the fact that part of me is missing.

There's nobody sending perverted messages to me now, nobody hugging me close, nobody calling me princess in that soft husky voice, nobody making me feel something that I've never felt before... nobody, nobody, no freaking body!

Is this what they call an heartbreak? Because quite literally, part of me has vanished. It's just me now.

While this should be enough, it isn't anymore - not when I just went from having the whole world to having nothing but an empty shell of a heart which I doubt I have. He has it with him of course.

I hope he's happy. That's what I've always wanted for him.

"Sunshine!" Dad's voice comes through my supposed bedroom door in my granny's residence. "Sunshine." He calls again when I doesn't reply.

"Please dad." My voice comes out barely audible.

" Open the door babygirl please. I just want to know if you are okay. You just skipped your meals yesterday, and today?"

Silence.

I tried, I really tried faking buy I think my bottled up emotions gave up on me yesterday morning. I couldn't face anyone, so I locked myself in, the whole of yesterday.

"I'll be leaving for Hudson today, but I'm not going to leave before I see you." He seems worried,his voice says it all.

Silence.

"Please sunshine, let me in, what's wrong with my little girl? Am I not your old man who you used to confide in? What changed between us?" His voice sounds broken breaking me further.

I know am ugly from all the crying but that did it. It got me opening the door.

"Christ saviour!" He swears engulfing me in his arms once he sees my appearance. "What happened to you babygirl?" He asks worriedly hushing me at the same time as his hands strokes my hair softly. "Hush now." He keeps repeating those two words that keeps undoing my sanity.

"I'm okay dad." I manage a hiccup betraying me thereafter.

"You're not." He states firmly. " Tell me." He holds my face in his palms forcing me to look at him. " Please sunshine." He adds begging when my eyes meet his.