Wild Baleigh love 2️⃣☑️

26. Disappointed.

Three months later

Long are the nights I could spend talking with Ballice about nothing specifically but everything that could cross our minds.

Long are the days we could spend laughing at nothing in particular but our silly selves.

Long are the moments we could share, intense moments that left our souls lit and light moments that left us craving for more.

Those have now changed to memories.

Memories we once lived.

Personally, I can't say my heart is at rest now, I can't say that am already over him, can't say I'm done crying over him, that's because I'm certainly not.

I'm always cursing Odessa because she made the choice for me. The expensive choice I couldn't have made on my own.

How I've survived the almost four months we've been apart, God only knows. I never kept tabs on him, I knew I couldn't take that risk because that was to be my undoing. I would have found myself running back to his arms. So I cut all the ties with him.

It's approximately a two and half hour drive to Hudson from Brooklyn, but I've never took that train of thought down my mind, I know I can't go back to Hudson and call it a peaceful visit without seeing Ballice, that can't work.

So it's been just me and Hessy, don't forget our melodrama, Way back to your arms which will be officially launched on the twenty fifth of April on the Juilliard school grounds.

It's been a week now since we were done with our role playing. It's been a week of replaying everything, how my life has changed since I met Ballice. This is because I had nothing to do in this one week. It was  another week of crying, missing my so called Bally. A week of regrets. I know I'm nothing without him.

How I changed from no boyfriend till I'm settled with a good paying job to can't survive without him, is still questionable. He easily bewitched me and I ultimately let him.

Today marks the start of my adulthood. I'm no longer a kid. I can make my own choices.
Date twelve April, Eighteen at last!

But I'm not really happy, I know I should be happy because I've been waiting for this day, unfortunately, it feels like any other normal day. Another day, I'm still in my hideous pajamas, still in bed even though it's noon.

I've been awake for two hours now, doing nothing but thinking, that's been something like a routine now ever since our melodrama which had one hundred and twenty six episodes was over. It took us long to come to completion.

In my role I ended up falling in love with the bad boy whom I successfully changed, what's funny, we ended up being friends with that partner of mine in that melodrama. He's called Colonel, the guy is in his second year in the Juilliard school studying acting and film whatsoever.

I wasn't ready to make a male friend yet but we just clicked, this is because he has a girlfriend, that means, he can't hit on me.

I also united with my father who happened to be Hesnah's father too in that role. She was their father from that other family he hid my 'mother' from. But we forgave him and gave him a chance to make it up for us.

It was a sweet play and I can't wait for the day it'll be officially launched.

***
I decided on browsing on my social media, I've replied to several wishes I got from friends and many anonymouses. I got a call from both Camille and Tiffany. My dad, Zila and Lodzin also face timed me, wishing me a happy birthday and asking me to visit them real soon, and of course I promised to visit them. I got another call from Cassandra who wished me a happy birthday too, I'm happy because she didn't ask me of anything else.