Wild Baleigh love 2️⃣☑️

33. Until I'm back into your arms

"I'm going to tell you this directly from Marilyn Monroe, it's for you to make out something from it or not. Listen carefully Kelly baby."

I batted my eyelashes smiling at her.

"This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you
through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And Kelly baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

And I smiled more.

"Thanks mom." I replied snuggling closer to her as I fought tears that were threatening to spill.

"And if you find that one person in the future who you feel like your soul is wholly entitled to, never slake fighting for him."

"Mom!" I shrieked covering my head with their duvet.

My dad was on a business trip and that night I decided to have a mom-daughter night since she suggested so. Lodzin was sleeping soundly on his bed which was directly opposite my parent's room in his tiny room.

"This is for later in life Kelly, C'mon. I want you to grow into a bombass lady. Tell those boys that you don't take shit as of now. Wait until you're done with studies."

***
Memories from almost five years ago come like a flip of a bulb. And now I'm looking at the image in front of me like I don't know the person entirely. She's so tiny with dark circles around her eyes and so pale. I trail my eyes all over the figure and when my eyes meet with the ones staring back at me, I flinch.
They're void of emotions. And for a moment I think about the promise I made to myself about a week ago.

I'll never cry again.

But when memories of my mother comes back again, I see tears welling up in my eyes. I blink severally trying to dismiss them. And finally I manage doing that.

"I'm sorry mom I failed you." I whisper into nothingness as I look outside the window at the people gathering at the grounds.

"Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

My mom's words keeps running in my head and pulls a smile on my face. I take a once-over at the reflection in the mirror again. This time I don't feel like escaping and diffusing or getting lost into thin air, I only smile and look at the dress flowing over my body not in an attractive way.

I'm in one of the restrooms in the Juilliard School. Today is that day. I'm expecting all my friends to be here since they promised me but I have no hopes of seeing Ballice. This might be his school but this ain't his day and he has completed his exams. Why would he want to be here after what happened the other weekend?