Wild Baleigh love 2️⃣☑️

24. Hurting

I'll stop loving you,
When diamonds never sparkle,
And flowers cease to grow,
When thunder doesn't echo,
And rivers do not flow,
When hearts no longer wonder,
And hands are never held,
When smiles are only memories,
And hope is never felt,
When trees no longer blossom,
And the stars refuse to shine,
When autumn has no falling leaves,
And winter no longer dies,
When time has no more tomorrows,
And rainbows have no hue,
When God alone commands me,
Then I'll stop loving yoI'll stop loving you,
~Anonymous

***
"What happened to you?"

Silence.

"Ballice?" Mr Smith calls again.

How weird? Waking up to a bright morning in your girlfriend's, infact ex-girlfriend's bed. To make matters worse, you find her father sitting beside you in her bed, watching you, like really looking at you as if you've grown two heads.

"I'm sorry." I mumble incoherently. "I might have slept off yesterday."

Oh shit, I've slept for more than fifteen hours. Longest sleeping time in history. Why is my head pounding?

"You don't seem okay." His eyes scan me softly.

"I maybe having a slight migraine." I reply screwing my eyes shut for a second there.

"Is this the reason?" He unfolds the fucking letter I threw away.

Silence.

"Then I guess it is." He folds the letter neatly. " This is what she wants Ballice. She told me so too." He stops, his eyes searching mine. "Besides you were both young. You still have a lot of time ahead of you."

" Uhmmm...did they look for me?" I brush the topic off. "We were supposed to---"

" Zila told us that she left you here. When you didn't show up, I knew what was happening to you. You sure needed time to come into terms with everything, so I covered up for you. I got here today morning and came straight here to check on you."

" It's okay, I should go home now." I sit up straight and reach for that teddy bear that reminds me so much of her scent. And that victoria's secret perfume Hesnah got me for a birthday present, the present she purposefully stole, is going to help big time.

"You can stay in here, for as long as you want." He suggests.

" No thanks." I don't know why I feel like screaming at him or rather shutting his mouth myself. He knows close to nothing! Nothing! On how I feel. He thinks it's just nothing and I should be feeling okay about it.

I scurry to my shoes and I slip them on quickly avoiding his hard gaze on me.

"You may want this?" He flashes the letter.

I take it from his hands, pick the teddy bear and I leave without uttering any word.

***
On my way back home I almost collide with two cars because I'm not thinking straight. My mind is jumbled and all I want is to sit under a cold shower and wash all the pain way. If I can't rub it off my chest, I want to numb it.

I will always remember her, not as the
one who broke my heart but as the one who taught me how to live without a heart. Because she has it with her. Whole and all of it. But why does it hurt this much if I don't have a heart with me? Then maybe she must have given it back the moment she said goodbye and it's in a shattered form. In tiny pieces that can't be fixed again!

***

"Ballice?" My mom's broken voice comes again. She should just go and leave me alone really!