✓ yellow lights, jensoo

m. her own hero

"you have 15 voicemails from rosie!!, 17 from joohyun ew, 19 from jin and 3 from jendeukie. read--"

jisoo slams her phone down into her drawer filled with clothes to muffle the automatic sound that's been going off for ten minutes already. she had no effort to close it in the first place, and although shutting it off in the first place would've been more easier--she decided to just go through a different way.

it hasn't been a while since her little 'heartbreak' with chaeyoung. it had only been.. two? or maybe it was just the next day since then? something around those lines, but jisoo still would feel worse in either days.

ever since she got home, she put a lot of thought into what happened. she has never truly dated, she had started with that right away. perhaps now she doesn't want to give it another shot after all, dating is not something she needs to survive right? she doesn't need someone.

or anyone.

maybe she could just stay here, in her bed, forever and ever and just never meet with anyone ever again.

that was a sprout of thoughts rushing through her head.

jisoo would like to say that they were dating.. just, not officially or anything. so would that even count? she'd rather leave it at not dating anyone at all and for it to be.. nothing.

after all, it was nothing but faked feelings in the end.

she had ended up at the same results for the hundredth time today that she instantly shot up, stressfully running her hands through her hair. jisoo had always liked to call herself dramatic, maybe a bit with the overreacting side too.. but despite all her efforts not to be like this..

..to be stuck to her bed with a messy place but an even messier head filled with nonsense..

she couldn't help it. she hated not having control, it made her feel belittled by something that is so small. and not worth her time too.

"--17 voice--from--missed---call from--"

the sound of her phone was quietly being heard from her drawer as jisoo decided to get up to have a new change of scenery. of course, that change was just a small walk to her living room as she took a seat in the corner of her couch. she forgot what time it was, but the last time being recalled was around 2am.

she hated nighttime now.

for some reason, all she can think about at night is chaeyoung and what could've been if they did happen to like each other. if she did. it was beautiful in her head honestly, but all that was in front of her was a dark space and an empty spot beside her because she was somewhere else.

with someone else.

they were never meant to be, jisoo had already learned that part at least. yet even when she knew that, she still kinda hoped they were but it was just blinded by chaeyoung's liking for some girl who couldn't even try to keep her and love her like jisoo would've done for her. why was she always losing to the worst people?

it was like common sense, but for some reason, at the same time, it really wasn't. it was all in disguise.

before this all happened though, jisoo thinks she liked the night and how calming and quiet it was for her. it meant well so that she can sleep peacefully or even do a little work if she really wanted to. but not only that, it reminded her of times with jennie.

jennie wasn't the best reminder or person to think of right now, especially because they didn't leave on good terms plus she's still mad at her. not only that, but jennie was someone jisoo was still trying to get out of her head if it weren't for chaeyeoung who distracted her and got her off track. but above all, jennie was like a comfort zone for jisoo's head to wander off to and find a place to call home.