✓ yellow lights, jensoo

r. what's so wrong with wanting you?

a/n : hi my fellow jensoo lovers, just wanted to know if you'd all be willing to read a more lighthearted jensoo au !! it'd be around the lines of jisoo as a non-idol with jennie as an idol, but pls let me know ily guys <33

jisoo was tired. she's just not sure of whether she was tired of jennie or drunk jennie, seemingly two different people when the lights are on her or not.

she couldn't get the sudden confession out of her head, how jennie had worded it, how jennie had said it. how jennie did this, how jennie did that.. it was always the younger girl every other second of her day and she couldn't handle it. she knew—rather—now she gets why chaeyoung got fed up with the way she saw jennie.

jennie, in a more shorter sense, was her sun and she rotated around her.

the more she let the other get to her head, the more she realized that this was paining her. of course, she always knew it pained her, she just didn't think it'd hurt this much in the future.

when jisoo first realized her feelings, she told herself that it'd be gone once high school ended. thing is, she said this with the mindset that jennie would leave her. maybe move back to new zealand, or grow into a huge celebrity that everyone loves and adores so she wouldn't care.

that didn't work out as well as she thought.

so when jennie came home after her breakup with lisa, jisoo told herself again that it'll fade with time and she'll see jennie the same way every other bestfriend duo does—as a good friend. but she was more than that. she's always more than that, rather, it felt like she always became more than what jisoo thinks she is.

so it didn't age well. if it did, jisoo wouldn't be contemplating in her car at 2:36am as she waited for a slightly drunken jennie to make her way over to the passenger's side. she had stayed there waiting for the past 15 minutes for the girl, but she kept getting distracted with her friends often bumping into her and talking to her.

screw her and the way she got distracted easily.

she couldn't look at jennie the same way since the night she told her she was her everything. was it because she felt like she was lying through her teeth? was it because lisa's words rang louder than bombs that when jisoo saw jennie's fourth tally mark, she knew she was right? was it because jisoo refused to see the truth?

or was it because jisoo was simply just tired of all of this?

"jennie, i- i have to be honest with you."

"honest? this sounds a little serious."

"um.. see.. uh.. i- i don't- really feel comfortable with picking you up like this anymore. y'know, at these parties.. at like, almost 3am every single night."

"not every single night."

"jennie, i'm being serious here."

it wasn't jennie's fault that jisoo was tired, she could only blame herself because of the way her feelings had some sort of attachment issues to her. she couldn't leave, or maybe because she didn't want to leave. she was familiar, a comfort zone, she was jisoo's comfort zone.

if she left, who would she have left?

she asked herself that when she was with chaeyoung.. the very same question.

"do the people make you uncomfortable?"

"no, it's not that."

"the drinks?"

"no."

"then why are you suddenly changing your mind?"

now that jisoo lost chaeyoung, she, objectively, doesn't have anyone left to turn to. her siblings lived too far in the city with their own lives and possible partners, jisoo didn't want to intrude. she was nothing without her.