✓ yellow lights, jensoo

a. yellow lights.

ever since she was little, kim jisoo's mother convinced her that there was someone made perfectly for her. that she would automatically click ends with and she wouldn't worry about anything else for the rest of her life. it took her ten tally marks for her to find the one.

jisoo has never, however, earned a single red mark.

she follows how other people shake hands, its always with their right arm so that the other can see how many marks they have. some have had black marks from a death, and jisoo had even met others who have over 12.

even in her friend group, she was the one with the least.

she wonders what it would be like to fall in love with someone. to have someone who makes them feel completely whole, or to have someone who doesn't make them worry about anything else. to have their perfectly made someone like her mother described to her.

perhaps, to her, it was possible that she just wasn't made to have someone. jisoo supposes it shouldn't matter anyways, and she could carry her own load herself. but even sometimes she thinks it would be nice to have someone to lean on and to have by her side when everyone won't be.

so, that's when the girl thinks that god had finally decided to be nice to her for once. by sending down her long time bestfriend.

kim jennie.

jendeukie.

"hey, would you pass me-"

"sorry, i don't speak korean"

"what are you talking about?"

she was from new zealand, jisoo just happened to be one of the first people to talk to her. unluckily since she didn't understand her accent or words, but they became friends after too many crossing paths during their math class together.

she didn't think much of it at the start. she was there for the younger girl every single time, even introducing her to her own friend group and offering to help exchange answers for the late assignments they forget to do. jisoo even went as far as to going to her house before school to walk with her since she was always alone, and even tried picking up english because she figured it would help jennie feel as if she's more comfortable too.

of course, she figured that was what friends do for each other. they were only that.

but it started becoming more than just that.

it was when jisoo started noticing the little details within jennie, like her gummy smile and how clingy she gets with people. or when she started seeing jennie around some other high school guys that made jisoo slightly uncomfortable with because the younger looked too close with one of them.

she didn't understand why her heart was so uncontrollable around jennie, and she hated it because it made her feel something not known to her.

it took everything in her to steady her two feet.

as if she was practically sacrificing herself to something she's not aware of.

but it was during their last year of high school, exactly a year since that weird feeling started to bubble inside her. it was when jisoo was trying hard to fight back how tired she was as she was watching the ending of another disney movie jennie put on. the brunette asleep on her shoulder, hands tightly gripped onto her sleeve as if she was afraid she'd be going somewhere, steadily breathing calmly. the bright, yellow lights of the room was the only lighting that kept the room from going dark.

there was nothing else in this world jisoo would trade for when her eyes laid on her. jisoo didn't want time to keep going, she wanted to stay in the position for as long as she could.

she wanted a life like this with jennie forever.

and right when she tried to brush that off as another 'friend remark', something pinched her wrist. believing it be jennie, she still otherwise brought her arm up to her then widened eyes.

her first, bright red, tally mark.

jisoo nearly moved forward in shock, but was able to hold herself back from waking up the sleeping girl next to her. thats how jisoo realized that perhaps not everything she did was just because she thought of jennie as a friend.

and that scared her.

because jennie–well–how could she look at jisoo the same way as her? she's always made it clear they were just good friends, besides.. jennie was in another league.

she was always the top student in everything.

jisoo was a fine line above average. she would just almost pass, no matter how hard she'd try.

after high school, jisoo had settled at a small apartment as a quiet worker at one of her friends' coffee shops down the street. she really didn't have much contact with many people except her small friend group, and took the time of quietness and stillness to make sure she would never have another incident like getting another tally mark with her bestfriend again.

its always when she least expects it though.

when jisoo is decorating her living room with lights, automatically turned to yellow, a knock appears at her door. its surprising to her seeing a crying jennie kim at her door, hair soaked from the rain that just seemed to have started pouring. it makes her realize that she only really told a few people where she lives, and of course one of them had to be her bestfriend.

"jisoo?"

the older always told herself she was ready to face the girl again with no feelings. but..

"can you hold me for a second?"

the same, stinging emotions punch her right in the stomach as she throws her arms around the emotional jennie kim. and thats when her eyes catch the wrist of hers, a third tally mark that seemed to have appeared recently.

they were in the same position jisoo didn't want to be in again. jisoo prefers to keep her distance from her. but she knows that she's all her bestfriend has somedays. and the truth is, she's all she has everyday.

and here they were again,

jisoo falling in love with a low jennie, under yellow lights.