✓ yellow lights, jensoo

h. hurt me like this

a/n : if y'all aren't hurting yet wait until chapter 'l' <3

jisoo had been suffering a hard time for the past few days, or was it only just a few days? it could've been a month, maybe a year or not even because nothing feels right. what was the point in trying when jennie has blocked her out?

and although she thinks blocking out meant just not wanting to see her by banning her from her house, it was way more.

the measures that jennie had gone just to avoid jisoo was insane.

could she blame her though for what she said to her that night?

"i said fucking get out!"

"jennie, let me say something!"

"let you say what? what do you want to say? advice? tell me to be there when she crushes your heart? tell me your problems you'll have with chaeyoung? i fucking warned you so many times jisoo, i'm not doing this crap again. i'm not going to say it again now, get. out."

it was clear that jisoo broke something inside of her that night, but what was there to break?

how could she break something with her news of dating?

the lifeless eyes of jennie's only haunted and surrounded jisoo's head as she's been locked up in her house since that night. probably not a good start to her relationship with chaeyoung too because even she had been shut out.

no one could get through to jisoo, it was too much.

maybe that's why she understands it when people collapse when their core is taken away. without it, they're nothing.

so without jennie, jisoo was.. technically..

nothing.

jisoo dragged her feet to the living room, her kitchen clean because she barely had found the strength to eat. her room was a mess on the other hand because she had spent a day just trying to look for something that reminded her of jennie to keep her sane and positive.

she just needed one sign, one single sign, that jennie still meant well.

she wonders if the other had already destroyed pictures of them two, jennie had already blocked her on her media and even blocked her number so it wasn't farfetched. jisoo was merely the opposite as she drops on her couch, the only noise being the weather channel that she hadn't changed from.

chaeyoung had still tried her best to reach her. jisoo saw her text messages of comfort and all, even her voicemails and voice messages. and she was thoughtful for that.

but jisoo didn't feel any different.

because all that she sees when she goes through those messages is jennie, even when chaeyoung's name is at the top. its only jennie.

"i don't want to see you anywhere around here, the only time should be you saying i'm right about her. but you're not ready for that, so i won't be either to talk."

those were a couple of her words before jisoo was permanently kicked out from her life. being moved out like that hurt more than she had thought it would.

maybe its because she imagined it to be with anyone else but the one person who matters the most.

"jennie, you don't understand her. she has good intentions"

"good intentions my ass, leave."

jisoo rose her wrist to stare at the single tally mark given from jennie, making her heart feel as if its being pinched at. as if its being taken out and crushed by her. like jennie was doing everything she said chaeyoung does.

so it was painful.

what if jennie was the actual bad person and not chaeyoung? was that even possible?

"you're going to—jennie, why can't we talk it out? like we always do?"

jisoo bit her lower lip harshly, believing she couldn't waste her tears over something stupid. she'll make up with jennie right? whats the difference? well, she supposed it could be the way jennie isn't giving way for her anymore.

"jennie! jennie talk to me!"

the more her words rang,

"jennie, open the door please!"

the more she called for a name that wouldn't answer back,

"i'm sorry okay!?"

the more her tears started to rush down her cheeks. expressionless through it all, and as much as she hates it jennie is just too much for her. she is like a heart, she can't live without her, she can't go on without her.

and its dumb to rely so much on someone, but who could jisoo turn to these days?

slowly, her eyes traced back to the decorations around her walls.

the lights.

her lights bothered her, the way it had the yellow tint still that she never changed. the way yellow lights remind her of the person that puts her into states like these. the way lights itself just haunts her.

and love was nothing more than just an emotion that keeps hurting jisoo. she was a good person too.

she ate her vegetables, never talked back, hell she even shared answers. why couldn't something go her way again?

suddenly her phone went off from a voicemail, reading chaeyoung's name as jisoo turned her head to listen to the new message.

"jisoo, how are you feeling? i'm coming over again, i bought chicken skewers. you like those right? please answer the door, if not its okay too. i'll leave them outside for you to get. don't forget them okay? love you!"

what a girlfriend she was to chaeyoung who is trying her best out here.

jisoo felt guilty, for putting her weight on someone like the younger girl. but maybe.. well, could it be?

maybe this is the final signs that jennie wasn't meant for her?

"oh by the way! i bought this cute hat for you on my way home from work yesterday, tell me how it is when you get the chance as i drop it off. okay, bye chu!"

once the message ended, jisoo sucked her emotions up. it was a bit hard to do, but she knows it'll wash away like waves at some point.

she just knows that it's time for her to move on from jennie. and onto a new start, with chaeyoung. and she could see it working out..

but, she never gave the dark side of consequences much thought as she leaves to fix herself up for once.