❝What! Why don't you trust me?❞
❝You want it alphabetized or by date?❞
❝I can't even look at you right now!❞
❝Jake, do you even trust yourself?❞
❝No, but that is not the point.❞
| In which the 99 get more than just a new Captain |
[Brooklyn Nine-Nin...
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"Heads up we are now in stage two," Rich warned Natasha as soon as she walked into the precinct, "Depression."
She furrowed her brows before her eyes widened in shock and understanding when she caught sight of Jake. He'd had been inching between stage one and stage two for days now, but he was finally fully immersed in stage two of Rich's breakup pattern.
He was slumped down in his desk chair, hugging a burrito to his chest, and was scrolling through sad cat videos on his computer. The dark circles under his eyes told everyone that he hadn't been sleeping at all lately and the scruffy clothes and unkempt hair told them he just didn't care anymore.
"What have you done?!" Charles wailed as he marched over to Natasha with a glare.
"Excuse you?" She asked flatly as she raised a brow, finally managing to look away from Jake.
"You have ruined the greatest man to ever exist!" He cried, "Look at him. Look at what you've done. How will we live with this slightly less amazing shell of an extremely amazing man?!"
"I'm the smartest person here and even I'm a little confused," Rich whispered to Natasha, "So, are you and Jake the precinct power couple, or is it Jake and fanboy over there?"
"Life is a party and I am the pinata," Charles decided sadly as he sighed heavily, "What am I talking about? There is no party without Jake!"
"Okay, Charles, you need to breathe," Natasha demanded softly, "Or you're going to pass out like when you found out that Jake and I decided to stay friends."
"Oh, don't remind me," He cried, "It's like life wants me to jump off the roof."
"You are not doing that," She snapped before she let out an annoyed breath, "Because I might throw you off the roof myself if you don't stop acting like this."
"You want me to stop acting like this? Then fix him!" He demanded heatedly as he pointed to Jake.
She paused as she looked at him sadly. "... I don't even know to start trying that. I've never seen someone so sad since my abuelita found out about my break up. She pretended the news gave her a heart attack so we would go to the hospital so she could try and set me up with a doctor."
"That woman is a gem," Rich grinned fondly before he shook his head, "Anyway, the crying muppet is right. We can't just leave him like that."
"It's bad," Charles explained sadly, "He said 'no' when I offered to binge-watch all the Die Hard movies with him. All he wants to watch is sad cat videos now."
Natasha gasped in surprise at that. Jake Peralta would, usually, die before refusing Die Hard.
"And last night, I went over to his apartment to try and cheer him up," Charles explained with a sad grimace, "He was just wrapped up in a blanket on the floor, eating ice cream, and crying."
