❝What! Why don't you trust me?❞
❝You want it alphabetized or by date?❞
❝I can't even look at you right now!❞
❝Jake, do you even trust yourself?❞
❝No, but that is not the point.❞
| In which the 99 get more than just a new Captain |
[Brooklyn Nine-Nin...
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"This year's Halloween Heist is a three-way tiebreaker to determine the champion of champions," Jake called dramatically at the morning briefing, "We'll be playing for this: a plaque that reads, 'The Ultimate Detective/Genius'."
"You and Zapata should quit now," Raymond scoffed, "I'm going to stomp on your dreams."
Jake chuckled. "It's fun to see you so passionate."
"I will slit you both open from mouth to anus and wear you like jackets," He countered seriously.
Natasha narrowed her eyes at her father figure. "Not if I rip you both limb from limb first."
"Wow," Jake breathed out as he looked between the two and chuckled, "Is it weird that that turned me on a little bit? Doesn't matter."
"Well, I'm betting on my little Cuban pastelitos," Rich grinned, "The defending champion."
Jake scoffed heatedly. "The only reason she won is 'cause no one knew she was even playing," He narrowed his eyes on his girlfriend. "It was a pathetic act of pure cowardice."
"Whoa, she's your girlfriend, Peralta," Terry reminded him with wide eyes.
"Not tonight, she isn't," He said dramatically before he gave Natasha a loving smile. "Although don't kiss anyone else. I love you so much. But let's move on. The plaque will be held in this."
Natasha's brows furrowed at the pink caboodle she'd spray painted black so many years ago. "Is that my childhood caboodle I had to pretend to like?"
"You lied about liking it?" Raymond frowned before a look of realization appeared, "So that's why you dyed it black."
"The thought was nice," She smiled reassuringly before she gave him her signature glare, "Don't think that means I'm going to go easy on you. I will rip both of you apart to win."
"Okay," Jake nodded slowly, clearly scared of his girlfriend. He cleared his throat and went back to his announcer's voice. "It most certainly is, but don't worry. I removed the switchblades, hammer, and photos of a young Matt Dillion, I'm better-looking than him anyway."
"We're talking a young Matt Dillion?" Rich scoffed, "Peralta, you do make me laugh."
"Okay, stings a little bit," He frowned before he brushed it off, "It will be secured with this brand-new lock. Hitchcock, if you would do the honors," He handed him the key to the lock.
Hitchcock immediately swallowed the key. "You can have that back in three-"
"If you even think about giving it back I will force-feed you spinach," Natasha growled.
"You monster!" Hitchcock and Scully gasped as they stared at her in horror.
"The ca-boo-dale will be placed in the center of the bullpen," Raymond said once it was locked.
