❝What! Why don't you trust me?❞
❝You want it alphabetized or by date?❞
❝I can't even look at you right now!❞
❝Jake, do you even trust yourself?❞
❝No, but that is not the point.❞
| In which the 99 get more than just a new Captain |
[Brooklyn Nine-Nin...
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"Okay, Nine-Nine, say hello to Michael Augustine, Brooklyn's most prolific identity thief," Jake started that morning's briefing, "Last week, he walked into a government building and stole a computer containing over 100,000 social security numbers. My C.I. says that tonight Augustine will be handing off the laptop to a buyer from China, AKA the Land of Dragons."
Raymond sighed. "Make sure that phrase is not in your official report."
"Okay, sorry," He rolled his eyes, "The Country of Dragons."
Deciding to ignore him, Raymond nodded to Natasha. "I want you and Zapata to tail Augustine until he makes the drop, and then arrest him and the buyer."
Jake nodded slowly and shrugged. "Sounds good, although I could probably just take Boyle. I know Tasha has a ton of work, so..."
Natasha raised a brow at his sudden awkwardness. "No, I don't."
"Really?" He furrowed his brows and furrowed his brows, "I could have sworn I overheard you telling Rosa, 'Girlfriend, please. I got hella open cases'."
She pursed her lips and gave him a dry look. "You really think I would ever say that?"
"Word for word," He nodded, "No diggity, no doubt."
"That's enough," Raymond called, not wanting to deal with any more of their banter, "Peralta and Zapata will tail Augustine. Boyle and Diaz will join them in a surveillance van unless you have a problem with that."
"Sounds great," Jake gulped and smiled tensely, "In the immortal words of Natasha Zapata, 'Girlfriend, please'."
"I would shoot myself before I ever said that," Natasha rolled her eyes, "Hell, I'll shoot you for saying it."
"Would you please?" He begged, "I'll say it again so it'll be fresh."
Natasha frowned at him and pulled his arm to keep him in the briefing room as everyone filed out. She closed the door and turned to him with her brows furrowed and her arms crossed.
"Okay, what is your deal, Peralta?" She huffed, "Did I do something to you? Are you mad?" She asked her voice earnest now.
Jake stayed quiet as he tried to think of what to say. He knew he couldn't lie to her, she was good at catching that sort of thing and besides that, he just could not lie to her.
She frowned at the tense silence. "Is this because I brushed all the crumbs off your desk?"
"What? No, I don't care about that," He scoffed and brushed it off flippantly before giving her a hopeful look, "Do you know where they are?"
She gave him a weird look and spoke slowly. "In the trash. So, by now Hitchcock's probably eating them."
