❝What! Why don't you trust me?❞
❝You want it alphabetized or by date?❞
❝I can't even look at you right now!❞
❝Jake, do you even trust yourself?❞
❝No, but that is not the point.❞
| In which the 99 get more than just a new Captain |
[Brooklyn Nine-Nin...
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"For you. And you. And you," Charles smiled brightly as he walked into the bullpen and handed out envelopes to the 99.
"What are these?" Amy asked as she carefully pulled the envelope open without a tear in sight.
"These, madam, are STDs."
"What are you talking about, buddy?" Jake furrowed his brows as he ripped open the envelope –and part of the invitation– carelessly.
Natasha used the knife she'd been sharpening to open hers and frowned at the large letters printed right at the top – STD. She knew Charles was too innocent to see the double meaning behind it but it didn't stop her from laughing.
"STDs," Charles repeated, "Save the dates. For Vivian and my wedding."
"Ah, yes," Jake nodded with a teasing glint in his eyes, "Hey, just out of curiosity, how many people have you given STDs to?"
"Lots. Like 100," Charles smiled only to frown when everyone failed to stifle their laughs, "What's going on? Oh, okay. I get it. 'STD' has another meaning. You're gross. No one else is gonna think that."
"Everyone is going to think that," Amy scoffed before she gave him a smile, "But it's sweet that your mind didn't go there."
"Thank you," Charles nodded proudly, "It is kinda sweet."
"Will your first dance be to You Give Me Fever?" Amy asked with a smirk.
"Will you be serving crabs at the reception?" Terry wondered, joining in on the teasing.
"Do you have herpes?" Gina called, not even trying to hide the joke behind an 'innocent' front.
"Guys, this is my wedding," Charles frowned as he held the rest of the STD's to his chest protectively, "This is important to me. No more jokes."
"You're right, and we're sorry. We love you, buddy," Jake patted his shoulder comfortingly as a hint of a smirk made its way onto his face, "Warts and all. Sorry, I made a rash decision. I was itching to say it. Okay, I'm done."
"I have an STD," Hitchcock added as he joined them.
Everyone paused as they tried to figure out a way to move past what Hitchcock just dropped into the conversation.
"So just RSVP, or..." Jake trailed off awkwardly.
"Yeah, the number's right on there," Charles nodded as everyone rushed to their desks and away from Hitchcock.
Jake leaned against Natasha's desk and looked at her with wide eyes. "Did that really just happen."
"To be honest, I stop listening whenever I think Hitchcock is going to start talking," She admitted to him with a grimace.
