❝What! Why don't you trust me?❞
❝You want it alphabetized or by date?❞
❝I can't even look at you right now!❞
❝Jake, do you even trust yourself?❞
❝No, but that is not the point.❞
| In which the 99 get more than just a new Captain |
[Brooklyn Nine-Nin...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
▲ ▼ ▲ ▼ ▲ ▼
"He's here. He's here! Jake's here!" Charles shrieked as he stumbled into the bullpen, "Okay, let's do the prank where we don't even acknowledge him when he comes in. Okay? Shh! Everyone, shh!"
"Back in the nine-nine!" Jake smiled as he walked in.
Charles didn't even last one second before he turned and started cheering. "Whoo! Hoo-hoo-hoo! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake!"
"Played to perfection, Charles," Gina scoffed.
"God, I missed this place. Let me just soak it in," He took a deep breath, "Oh, yeah, stale coffee, fingerprinting ink, whatever Charles is fermenting in his desk."
"Beans," He informed him proudly.
"Beans," Jake nodded as he sighed with a smile, "It's like I never left. All right, fill me in. Tell me everything I missed."
"Won't take long. Only three things happened. Terry chipped his tooth and had a lisp for a week. Number two, Santiago and Boyle wore the same outfit to work one day. And Captain made Charles sign a contract of things he's never allowed to ferment in the office due to the Tasha incident."
Every time Charles tried to ferment something, he would keep the jars proudly displayed on his desk so he could keep an eye on it. It was easier for the rest of the 99 to smell whatever was inside when he did that. By the second day of fermenting surströmming, a Baltic Sea herring known for its disgusting smell, the entire precinct was wearing gas masks to keep from passing out.
Natasha had made the rash decision to shoot the glass jars to get rid of them but that released the smell in full force. They had to evacuate the entire building after that.
"Great recap."
"Welcome back, Peralta," Raymond greeted as he joined the group.
"Captain," Jake smiled.
"Everyone has a lot of work. So you have exactly two minutes to share personal anecdotes. And those two minutes began when you entered. You now have... 12 seconds left."
"Challenge accepted," He smirked, "Undercover highlights. Fixed a boxing match, smoked a whole cigar without vomiting, was once in a room with ten guys named Sal, and missed you all so very much."
"Everyone back to work," Raymond called.
"Hey," Jake smiled nervously as he walked to Natasha's desk, "So... Didn't get a chance to say hi."
"Hi," She smiled.
"Hi," Jake gripped the strap of his satchel tighter, "Can we talk in private for a sec?"
Natasha paused before she nodded and followed Jake out of the bullpen.
"Okay. So now that we are alone, I have to ask," Jake paused before he decided against his original plan to talk about feelings, "Did you arrest a perp named Joe Uterus?"
