❝What! Why don't you trust me?❞
❝You want it alphabetized or by date?❞
❝I can't even look at you right now!❞
❝Jake, do you even trust yourself?❞
❝No, but that is not the point.❞
| In which the 99 get more than just a new Captain |
[Brooklyn Nine-Nin...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
▲ ▼ ▲ ▼ ▲ ▼
SCOREBOARD PERALTA ZAPATA 75 75
"Oh, this is amazing. This is so amazing. Everything about this is amazing," Jake grinned as he looked through papers from the printer.
"What are you talking about?" Terry asked from his desk as he leaned to get a better look.
"A virus got on the server and sent all of us an email with everyone's search histories. Check this out. Sergeant Jeffords searched the internet for 'undiscovered muscle'," Jake laughed
"I was working out and saw a muscle in my shoulder I'd never seen before. I thought it might've been a scientific discovery," Terry defended himself.
"Listen to this," Gina scoffed, "Scully searched for 'how much fudge is in a calorie?'"
"I never found the answer, but it was a good question," Scully shrugged as he dumped baby powder on his foot.
The rest of the squad —well, except for Hitchcock— gave him weird looks before deciding to just ignore his complete lack of logic.
"Boyle looked up, 'how to make desk yogurt.'" Rosa grimaced as she looked up from the paper.
"Yes, I did, and I am thrilled with the results," He smiled proudly before wincing, "Although the jar is really hot."
"That's gross," Jake sighed, "And Amy searched for 'Daniel Craig hands' plus 'close up'. Ugh."
Amy's eyes widened in embarrassment. "You should talk. You searched for 'cheapest date possible'.
Jake smirked. "And I wear that search like a badge of honor."
"You really shouldn't," Natasha scoffed, "You called me to come get your arm out of the vending machine after your date left you."
"And you laughed at me for an hour when you got there," Jake reminded her as the squad laughed at his expense.
"I got you out didn't I?" Natasha raised a brow.
Jake decided it was in his best interest to change the subject. "Looks like Tasha searched for 'what chair hurts the most when you throw it at someone?'. Okay, I'm very scared that's aimed at me; both the search and the possible throwing chair."
Natasha just gave him a sickly sweet smile as she flipped through the papers.
"Which one is it?" Rosa asked her.
Everyone slowly backed away from them as they discussed different chairs and their pain level when thrown.
▲ ▼ ▲ ▼ ▲ ▼
"Good solve on the Herman Avenue burglaries," Raymond complimented the girls, "Finish up the paperwork as soon as possible."
