❝What! Why don't you trust me?❞
❝You want it alphabetized or by date?❞
❝I can't even look at you right now!❞
❝Jake, do you even trust yourself?❞
❝No, but that is not the point.❞
| In which the 99 get more than just a new Captain |
[Brooklyn Nine-Nin...
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The 99 shuffled into the briefing room as they waited for Jake. It was Halloween and Jake had reinstated his bet with Raymond although at much higher stakes for himself. When Raymond wasn't interested he decided to up the ante to get him on board. And so, if Jake wins Raymond does his paperwork for just a week but if he loses he does five weeks of free overtime.
"You are the worst negotiator I've ever seen," Natasha sighed when the two had finally reached an 'accord' as Raymond put it.
"I was behind the door!" Jake yelled once everyone was inside, "Greetings, comrades, and welcome to the most important briefing of your lives. As you all know, the Holt-Peralta Halloween bet has been made, and the clock doth tick."
"What's with the tux?" Rosa laughed.
"I decided to class up this year's event. I bought it off a disgraced magician, and it is chock-full of scarves," He pulled out a long multicolored scarf from his sleeve.
"It's sad that you think that is classing this up," Natasha commented on his tacky suit.
"It's sad how much that hurt my feelings," He laughed, "Now, let's get started. I've been planning this for three months. You've all been given a specific role and a code name. Rosa, you're the dagger. Sarge, the hammer. Jay, the freeze ray. Amy, the hall monitor."
"Yeah, suck it!" Amy grinned.
"It is nowhere near as cool as you think it is," Natasha admitted to her bluntly, "Actually, it's not cool at all."
"Scully and Hitchcock, I'm just gonna call you your real names so you don't get confused."
Scully nodded. "Smart."
"What?" Hitchcock frowned in confusion.
"Rich, the pilot. Tasha, the raven. And, Boyle, as requested, you will be the deuce. Although I still think you should reconsider that code name," Jake pursed his lips as he raised a brow at his best friend.
"Nope, deuce," Charles smirked, "It's like ace, but twice as cool."
"It is not. It's a turd. Now, because of last year, the Captain will suspect that you are all helping me, so we will never get anywhere near his watch, but the actual theft will be pulled off by Dan McCreary, aka 'fingers'," Jake pointed to the man standing at the back of the room.
"How you doing?" Dan waved, "Call me 'fingers'."
"Hey, I remember this guy," Rosa watched him, trying to remember him.
"That's probably because you've arrested him twice for pickpocketing," Jake reminded her.
"You have a criminal helping you?" Amy's eyes widened, "That's crazy!"
"Grow up, Amy," Jake rolled his eyes, "Now, we will all work together as a team to move the Captain into position. Once there, fingers, loving that code name, will remove the captain's watch and replace it with this replica watch," He finished into his pocket before gasping, "Oh, that is a very dead dove. Ew! All right... This replica watch."
