❝What! Why don't you trust me?❞
❝You want it alphabetized or by date?❞
❝I can't even look at you right now!❞
❝Jake, do you even trust yourself?❞
❝No, but that is not the point.❞
| In which the 99 get more than just a new Captain |
[Brooklyn Nine-Nin...
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"Attention, everyone," Raymond called as he stepped into the bullpen, "Holidays of many cultures approach. This truly is a joyful time. Join me for a festive winter party at Shaw's bar this Friday, 7:00 till 9:00. Any questions?"
"A.M. or P.M.?" Scully asked immediately and everyone knew he wasn't joking.
Raymond gave him a disappointed look. "I'm gonna let you figure that one out. Also, I'd like to reiterate my gift policy: None allowed. Enjoy this merry season."
"Good people of the nine-nine, I present to you the seventh wonder of the world, Doug Judy, aka the Pontiac bandit, foiled at last!" Jake yelled gleefully as he led Doug Judy into the precinct.
He, Natasha, and Rosa had finally managed to get a drop on the infamous Pontiac Bandit and had organized a successful sting op. Jake had even pulled Natasha into a tight hug in his excitement over finally catching Doug Judy which he had to admit he might have enjoyed more than the solve. And she, for once, hadn't threatened to rip his arms off just because she knew how important catching Doug Judy was to him.
"All right!" Doug smiled as the precinct erupted in cheers and clapping, "Wow, you guys, thank you very much."
"All right, that's enough, Judy," Jake glared at him sharply, "This is my moment. You are not to enjoy it."
"I can't help it. I'm proud of you. You're like a son to me. A white, crispy son."
"How would that even work?" His brows furrowed, "Am I adopted?"
"No, your mother's just really pale. Almost invisible," Doug teased him before he cleared his throat, "Anyways, it's a shame I gotta ruin your celebration by cutting a deal and getting out of here."
"Never!" Jake scoffed decidedly before he turned to Raymond pleadingly, "Right?"
"I'm just saying, I know a lot of real high-profile felons. Makes me a very desirable tattletale," He smirked confidently, gazing at Rosa with flirty eyes.
"We will never cut a deal with you, not after you screwed us last year," Rosa growled as she glared at him darkly.
"You don't want any info on a local burglary ring, perhaps?" He offered.
Raymond shook his head. "Not good enough."
"Testify, Captain!" Jake cheered.
"How about a guy who makes fake credit cards?"
"Negative."
"You see that, Judy?" Jake smirked, "No matter what you say, you're going to jail."
"What about drugs? Y'all ever heard of giggle pig?" He mused coolly.
Raymond paused as he, Rosa, and Natasha shared a look. "What do you know? We're listening."
Jake's eyes widened as he shook his head frantically. "No, no, no, no, no, we're not listening. We can't hear him. Tasha shoot your gun in the air, you always say you're to do that!"
