My Charlotte Hates Me

Chapter 62: In the Moment

"I am waiting for you to die," I said.

"...Do you want me to die?" Arielle asked.

"I meant metaphorically...Happiness is not everlasting. The more you long for it, the more it will hurt once it all goes away. I say that it is all for you, but in reality, the only person I am saving is myself. When I no longer feel the same way as I do now for you, is that not the same as you dying off in my memory?" I asked.

When these feelings of love for you die, will I lose my sense of purpose and be driven to madness for eternity?

"I won't die," Arielle said as she grabbed my hands, "so become close as you like with me. I will make sure that if no one else, I will be the one to stay in your heart forever."

"...Can I call you Elle?" I asked.

Maybe after the third retrieval of my life, I began putting Arielle at a distance so that I could save a piece of my heart every time she died. Arielle was special, but that did not mean they were all equally special. Never once had I ever tried catering to any version of her with complete zest until now.

"Yes! Please do call me by my nickname," Arielle said excitedly.

"Also, I'm sorry...I will accept your help, or rather...I will be bothering you from now on," I said.

"Yes...yes! That is great news," Arielle said fervently.

Arielle continued to jump up and down happily after hearing that I said I would be bothering her from now on.

What have I done? I have released a happy beast that Arielle had buried deep inside her body...

Arielle and I decided to spend the next two days with Duchess Wordsworth while my ankle healed. Afterwards, Arielle and I went sightseeing again. We first hit the markets and tried any delicious looking food that caught our eye or went to interesting looking shops. I think Arielle's favorite shop was the one with various colorful birdcages hanging from the ceiling of a large canopy tent. Even though Arielle did not own any birds herself, she enjoyed taking in the beautiful sights.

"Would you like to buy that birdcage?" I asked after I noticed that Arielle kept looking at a particular white birdcage for a long time.

"...No, I just thought that this birdcage was similar to the one my mother had when she was still alive. She raised a beautiful bird with blue feathers with a pink underside belly," Arielle said.

"Your mother did? I do not remember it too well," I said.

"She released it soon after she got sick...Maybe she knew that she did not have long to live and decided to set it free," Arielle surmised.

"...Do you miss her?" I asked.

"We were not exactly very close, but sometimes I think back on her last few days...She was rather kind," Arielle said as she looked beyond the distance. "I have a few regrets about not being able to speak to her longer."

The Duchess or Arielle's mother was a very Noble woman who almost never showed her emotions on her face much like her husband and even Arielle who shows an indifferent face in front of strangers. Arielle believed that her mother did not like her very much from their limited interactions. Even though Arielle spent more time with her mother in her last moments, Arielle believed that her change in attitude of being slightly kinder than before was because of her illness and not because she loved Arielle.

However, I know the truth...The Duchess truly loved Arielle. When I arrived at Arielle's home after we became close friends, the Duchess welcomed me with warm tea and thanked me for being friends with Arielle while I was waiting for her. She quickly left before Arielle arrived, but I truly felt her motherly love back then.

"...She was a very Noble person," I said.

"She was, wasn't she?" Arielle asked with a small smile.

Arielle and I decided to continue our tour around the clothing shops and then went to nearby stationary stores to buy matching bookmarks for each other. Of course, we stopped by a local bakery and picked up some goodies on our way back to Duchess Wordsworth's home.

"...E-Excuse me, Miss," a male baker said to Arielle.

"Yes, what is it?" Arielle asked.

"...I...I think that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met before in my life. If you don't mind, would you like to have tea with me?" he asked.

Arielle suddenly turned towards me and smiled.

"The locals here are so nice. They even invite tourists for tea. I hope we get to go somewhere nice, Char," Arielle said excitedly.

The baker began to look disheartened.

"...He was not inviting us. He was inviting you to a date...In other words, he is courting you," I whispered in Arielle's ear.

She had a shock and sudden epiphany drawn on her face and blushed after realizing her misunderstanding.

"...I am deeply sorry...I am just not looking for an encounter right now," Arielle said.

"...That said, thank you for asking," I said to him as I grabbed Arielle's wrist and pulled her out the door.

"Should we have left so soon after that?" Arielle asked.

"It would have been awkward to stay after rejecting him," I said.

"...You are definitely right, Char," Arielle said.

One day, Arielle will fall in love and get married to someone else again. The moments where I will be able to stay by her side will be limited once someone she loves greater than me enters her life.

The thought of it happening again made me sulk by myself.

"Char, aren't these cookies delicious?" Arielle asked as she shoved a treat between my lips.

I chewed them thoroughly before swallowing.

"...They are delicious," I answered.

"Would you like another one, Char?" Arielle asked as she reached for another treat in her bag of goodies.

I pulled her hand from the bag and ate from her hands.

"It is truly delicious," I said as I licked my lips.

"...Char, don't you think that was a bit too—"

I took a small bite from her hand to which Arielle yelped.

"You had some crumbs left over," I said calmly.

"You did not have to leave a mark on my hand...Goodness, you left a mark on my finger, Char," Arielle said as she examined her ring finger.

I bit her simply because I was greedy to make a mark of my own on her. I knew that one day...that spot would be overtaken by another person. The thought of her being taken from my side yet again made me burn with jealousy.

A few moments later, I felt my hair get brushed aside and a set of teeth dig into the nape of my neck from behind.

Arielle bit me!

"Arielle!" I said in irritation as I covered the spot she bit with my hand.

"You had quite the delicious looking neck, Char," Arielle said with a triumphant look.

"Was that payback?" I asked.

"You left a mark on me. Of course, I have to leave a similar one on you, Char," Arielle said.

Is she aware of how deviant her actions appear to an outsider?

Still, I had to laugh after seeing how we now had similar bite marks on each other. As strange and naive as she was, Arielle still was and will forever be a charming person.

.