Anything For You, George - {DNF} //BOOK1

Chapter 23: Do I make you happy?

George POV
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Sapnap got out the car. I was about to, but dream held me back.

"I'm so sorry, George."

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I could see how his eyes start to well up, but he wiped his tears away angrily.

"God why am I fucking crying again? I'm so dumb. This is so stupid. Fuck." He started hitting the steering wheel and I just watched.

He was letting it out. This was good. He finally stopped after a couple minutes, resting his forehead at the top of the wheel and slowing his breathing.

He threw his head back suddenly and brought his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes relentlessly. I jumped at such a sudden movement and he reached for my hand.

"I'm sorry George."

"Stop apologising."

"I don't know what else to do." His voice broke and he looked away.

I took his face in my hands and looked straight at him. Seeing him so sad, so broken, its crushing me.

"Here, let's go inside okay? We can just sit and watch a movie, I'm sure sapnap won't mind. He'd probably be all for it if we bought him snacks. Today doesn't have to be a perfect day dream, it's already perfect because we are together. The dream team."

He nodded, as I wiped the singular tear falling down his cheek.

We finally walked out, sapnap stood awkwardly at the door.

"I never thought you guys would come, you know. My legs were starting to hurt."

"Oh shut up sapnap." dream just rolled his eyes. But hey, that was a start.

We walked in, sapnap peeled off to his room and I followed dream the other way.

He noticed this and reminded me, "George, it's okay. You dont have to sleep with me. I'd understand if you felt more comfortable sleeping with Sapnap."

"Dream, I love you and I want to help you in any way I can. I should be the one asking you if youre okay with me being in your room."

"Of course I am George. You could never hurt me."

"I hurt you today."

"You were angry."

"I was thoughtless. And rude. And irationnal."

"It was understandable."

"Stop making excuses for me. Please let me apologise."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising."

"Okay." An awkward pause was clouding the room.

"I still want this."

"Me too."

"Are you sure you're okay with it? If you need time, space just ask. I'd understand." He looked at me.

"George I want you."

"Yeah but are you ready for me right now?"

He nodded slowly.

"Then you can have me."

He leaned in and kissed me. I made sure to let him make the moves. This was our first kiss since the whole mishap. I didn't want to push it too far in case dream wasn't ready but he pulled away pretty fast. He was.. crying? He looked at me, shaking his head. He then ran into his bathroom and locked the door.

I heard a quiet sob from the other side of the door and I didn't know what to do. I went to get sapnap because I obviously triggered something I didn't mean to. So that means dealing with me right now might be difficult for dream.

I told sapnap everything and he nodded, heading into dreams room. I heard a "Can I come in?" Then the door unlocked, opening slightly and shutting just as fast.

I was alone.

That's okay. Dream needed help right now. I just couldn't be the one to give him it. Tears wanted to fall but I wouldn't let them. I needed to be strong for dream.

I went downstairs and decided to order food. I didn't know what so I ordered the whole McDonald's menu. I didn't even know dreams favourite fast food place.

God, what is wrong with me? I swear I'm not an awful friend it's just we have such deep conversations stuff like that never comes up. I know his favourite colour and his childhood pet. But I don't know his favourite meal or his high school best friend. What am I on about? Of course I do. His high school best friend is sapnap. They trust eachother. They'll work everything out.

I don't know what to do right now. I ordered food. Maybe I should get a glass of water? All I drank yesterday was alcohol.

It's only 9 am but I think we are all hungry, tired and pissed off. Or maybe the last ones just me. I'm not sure.

I'm not pissed off at dream. I'm annoyed at myself. I should've known he wasn't ready.

The food arrived fairly quickly, or maybe I just lost track of time. There were four bags full of food. I brought three of them upstairs and knocked on the bathroom door. I didn't go in. I just said,"I bought some food." and then left.

As I was walking downstairs I heard the door open, the rustle of bags and the door close shut again.

I sat barely eating, I just wasn't hungry. I picked up my phone and looked at me camera roll. There was a picture of me and dream kissing in front of the sunset which I'm guessing sapnap took. Kind of weird, but I'm glad he did.

It captured us in our happiest moment. We looked Pinterest worthy I'm not going to lie.

There's one I took of sapnap making a salad. That was so funny. Except I never fucking tried the salad.

There's a video of us in the pool. I'm so glad I left my phone recording that night. I propped it up on the bar after sapnap fell off his chair and it kept recording form there. I cut straight to the part of dream walking up to me from behind. I felt so loved in that moment. The sunset and the slow dancing. Even the song. It was all perfect.

I had to cut the end off due to us being interrupted but I remember the butterflies I felt when slow dancing with dream. They were magical. It was all so very magical.

I wanted to cry. I was so happy then. All of twelve hours ago. Everything's changed.

I put my head in my hands, resting my elbows on the kitchen counter. I was so lost right now. I felt excluded but I also knew it was for the best right now.

We were on day five now. Two more days until sapnap leaves. What am I going to do then?

What if Dream still can't bare the sight of me? What if I'm not good enough? We make eachother happy. I make you happy. Right, dream? What if this isn't meant to happen? Nono, it's not that. Or is it? We've not been together long. I mean technically, we haven't been together at all, we never made it official.

We aren't anything right now.

I ended it all on the boat because I was being a selfish, little prick.

God I'm so fucking selfish.

I decided to take a shot. I don't know what of. Of any alcohol I could find in this huge house.

I knew that also wasn't a good idea but it was one shot. What could possibly go wrong?

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1217 words

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