Right? --A Fourtris/Tris Pedrad Story

Chapter 54

TOBIAS
I look down into my lap and see a muffin. I squint my eyes and look around. Shit. I fell asleep. I gotta get to work. I jump up, the muffin in hand. Who put it there? It couldn't have been me.

Reluctantly, I head into the cafeteria. I don't want to face them after yesterday. All they were doing was trying to give me a good birthday and I fucked it all up. Nevermind. I shouldn't even go. I can't. Tris would hate how I treated them. I hate how I treated them.

Before I know it, I walk past them. I make sure I never look at them, even though I know they're looking at me. I'm a coward, I know. I should've just stayed in abnegation, or transferred somewhere else.

"Four." I freeze and slowly turn around, seeing Lynn with a partially opened mouth. She stared at me with an expectant look in her eyes. I swallow loudly. I know they're all mad at me. I'm mad at me too. I broke one of my favorite things of hers. She loved it too.

I know Tris would tell me that a knife doesn't matter, but it does. It does to me. Anything of hers matters to me. It'll never matter as much as she did-does, but it's as close as I'll get.

"Hey, " I reply quietly. Uriah and Zeke don't look up from their food. "Come on, " Mar says, nodding at the seat next to her. Reluctantly, I sit down. Lynn slides me a tray already full of food. They were waiting for me. Of course they were. They're my best friends.

We just sit there in silence, everyone eating except Zeke, Uriah, and I. I don't touch my food while they mix their pancakes with syrup and spread theirs around their plate like a paste. Eating just doesn't sound good. I feel like I want to puke.

"I'm done, " Shauna says. "I know you three can't stay mad at each other forever." Zeke and Uriah sigh.

"Don't worry, I hate me too, " I say, standing up and leaving the food.

"Where are you going?" Matthew asks. That makes me freeze. They saw me explode yesterday. They saw me yell like that.

"I gotta go to work, " I say, forcing a small smile.

"Four, stay."

I turn to see Zeke. He sighs and looks up at me.

"I know you didn't mean it, " he says. "You were upset. I get it. It's hard to have a special day without someone important."

I always forget that they lost their dad so young. I forgot that Tris practically raised them since their mom worked all the time. I never forgot how perfect she was.

"I'll cover for you today. Just, " he sighs, "go see her." I shake my head and he puts his head back down to his food.

"I shouldn't have done that. You were trying to do something nice and I was an a-" I stop myself. The boys are here. I can't talk like that around them.

"Nice, Four, " Uriah scoffs. Sometimes I just want one of them to say my name, just to hear it again. She's the only dauntless who has ever called me by that name. I just want to hear her voice again.

"I shouldn't have treated you guys like that, " I admit. I swallow and close my eyes, looking down.

"Just meet me at Shauna and I's apartment tonight, " Zeke says. "I got you today, just go see her." I sigh shake my head.

"I can't just skip work because I was an idiot, " I chuckle. He shakes his head. "You really think you're mentally stable enough to work?" He laughs. "No offense, " he adds.

"I'm fine, Zeke, really."

After we-they finish eating, we all head off to work, Zeke protesting the whole way there. I really am fine. I can't just skip work like that. It's not that simple. I'll get into a habit of doing that until I go broke. It helps distract anyway.