ELECTRIC ϟ LEE HAECHAN

seventy nine

"touch me, you're electric babe."

Trauma.

Sometimes, you don't know you have it until days, months, even years after it was inflicted. It takes more than a couple hours to process. It's dinnerless nights, restless slumbers. Panicked nightmares, healing scars. It's screaming into your pillow to muffle the sound and pain, pushing away the people you love. It's messy, it's ugly, it's unlovable.

The mention of that spring night where the dark clouds billowed over Jaegu high school sparked an uneasiness in Minseo's chest. The scent of the nasty gymnasium and her uniform found her nostrils again. Sounds of squeaking shoes, blaring whistles, and whispers of her name could be heard everywhere. The taste of salty tears entering her mouth and the feeling of her beating heart being ripped out of her chest struck her ribcage.

"Why now, Donghyuck?" was the first thing she replied with. Everything seemed okay, perfect even. If they could stroll by the nightmarish memory and carry on like they were never hurt, she thought they could continue on that path. But they were hurt. No matter how many turns they took, the infamous complexity followed each footstep.

"If I don't ask now, I'll never know." he exhaled and she could feel it reach the tip of their nose. He was close, right next to her; yet there was still that space between them that always held them back— and it wasn't just physical.

Minseo gulped the lump that formed in her throat. "What do you want to know?" she cleared it. It wasn't her attempt of dancing around the subject, or putting it off for any longer. There wasn't any running away in the bed they were laying in. It was facing the cold, hard truth in front of their warm bodies.

"Everything." he said simply. Though, it wasn't simple. Minseo attempted to painfully jog her memory, but after three years and pills and rehab to shut out the tear-jerking moments, there were holes. She hoped maybe Minjun spilled it all to him, or Jisung and Seorin when they found her a wreck on the football field. And maybe they did— but he just needed to hear it from her.

"I talked to him." she mumbled. The name was taboo and she couldn't choke it out.

"Talked?" he drew out.

"Okay, I fought him. That was my intention, I knew I had to do it since the beginning of that week. I ditched you for ice cream that week, I stopped responding to your texts— it's cause I knew what was going to happen." she sighed. Donghyuck remained silent, slightly taken aback by the small details she did remember.

"It wasn't just because I felt bad. I was scared, really scared." her breath became shaky in the slightest. "I ignored you because I would go to Uncle Jin's after practices. I don't know why I turned to an old pharmacist for advice, but he just seemed.. wise." she shrugged.

"I originally went one morning to get my medicine, you know, for my anxiety. He pulled me to the back and asked me about my shifting. After, he called Mr. Han over. Him and I touched fingertips and there was a strike of lightning in the middle of clear skies." her purple eyes locked with his momentarily. "A week before the game, I discovered I could shift electricity."