blender

status update?

2/6/15:

umm hey :D

so my dad booked a two week vacation during school.

we're going to thailand, hong kong, and guangzhou (southern chinese city, also my family's hometown)

sounds great right?

he booked the vacation on the day of my band concert. and my third quarter final week.

both of which determines my grade.

shit.

now i'm gonna be worried during vacation instead of eating all the dim sum i want and shopping, and i was gonna have fun buying clothes and stupid chinese souveniers saldkjhfudsh

*deep breaths*

*hyperventilating*

okay. this is just a test of loyalty.

school or family?

goddammit.

meh i'll just wing this....

anywais

i'm sorry if i haven't been on wattpad lately, i'm just a little stuck/lost/confused, maybe too much to think properly.

otherwise, this will get even more depressing and i'm pretty sure you guys don't need even more negativity in your lives (:

happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

but i'll give a little update on what's going on currently.

so:

today, i found out that both of my friends are now being targeted by this group called "the crew".

now i haven't told you about "the crew" because idc if they're nice or mean,

i just don't give a shit about them.

(which is something weird cause my friend is in "the crew" and i used to be good friends with him, but you know, times change, and i am okay with that. i don't expect everyone in my life to stay because i'm pretty sure that even i'd get tired of myself as well.)

so since i don't care about them, i don't know about them

but, i do know that "the crew" is supposedly the "populars" of my grade.

and based on what my friends say, they are terrible people. they bully my friends, talk behind people's backs, start drama/rumors, the like.

i have absolutely no idea why, but they just do it.

but i guess i am very confused because sometimes i talk to some of the people in "the crew" and most are very nice people.

(i mean they even laugh at my jokes, i mean they're crazy for doing that... just trying to lighten the mood, sorry i'll stop trying to.)

so maybe i'm not a target. maybe cause i don't give a shit...or maybe i naturally look like i might stab them? idk.

but i consider this the lowest point of the year. everyone is getting hurt in their own way, help is difficult, friendships are hard to bring back from the dead.

my friends are getting hurt by them, and they do not deserve to be hurt.

my friends are the strongest, realest, brightest friends you can ever ask for, okay?

i'm just really lost in the sense that i don't know what decision to make, or even if i should make a decision.

btw, nk and i are still silent. i just donut how to fix this.

it's kinda like trying to put back a broken dish together okay?

we each took turns smashing the dish until it's completely in pieces.

i'm having trouble putting it back.

first of all, i'm not skilled in pottery.

second of all, maybe the dish isn't worth it.

(i like metaphors.)

so yepp.

i don't know what to do, and i'm pretty sure that my birthday is gonna be the least of my priorities.

(shameless self promo, i'm a terrible selfish human, i admit that i am not perfect, but then again, the crew's not perfect either.)

sorry, i have no idea what to think, to say, to do.

spending time with my friends is good enough for me though (:

i'll save my materialistic wants for next year.

my friends are more important.