blender

i honestly don't care and don't know.

3/2/15:

woahhh major time gap, i don't think anyone missed me though hehe.

i really haven't written anything lately in this book, mainly because of two reasons:

reason 1: i honestly don't know what to write 'cause lately i've been in those kinda moods where i can't relate with anyone and don't know what to say to people.

kinda those kind of moods where i hate everyone cause i don't know what to say to them. like i have a writer's block with talking.

so i also don't know what to write other than negative comments and insults, but i controlled myself. so far so good.

i personally think that reading this book should make people feel better, and i don't think my shitty attitude makes people feel better, so i shut myself up and hide in my bed.

but upon looking at this book, i'm pretty sure that this has been anything but happy, so what's the point lol

so yeah. i've been sucked into this temporary vortex of negativity and writer's block.

(i didn't have to go to school today, cause i hurt myself while going to the snow mountains yesterday yayaya so imig i got to avoid people and avoid spreading negativity.)

i'm serious, for the past few days, i've looked at people and there was pure hate in me. wihch is something i don't ever want to feel again cause they're my friends and i wanna have fun, but having fun is really hard when you just want to punch everyone's face idek why i feel hateful i just don't know.

I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I WANNA SAY BUT NO ONE EVER LISTENS TO ME AND BY THE TIME THEY LISTEN TO ME, I'LL JUST BE SPEWING MEAN COMMENTS AND INSULTS AND I WOULD FEEL SO BAD AFTERWARDS WHY IS TALKING SO HARD OMFG

reason 2: i'm actually working on another book at the moment so surprise bitches but i'm scared that people aren't gonna like it cause it's not like this really cliche and cheesy teen fiction or some 1d fanfic.

cause i really like the book i'm writing but i'm not sure if anyone else is. but this frickin idea has been like stuck in my head since the dawn of time and i just want to put it out in public but it's like weird in a sense and i don't think you guys are gonna like it ;v;

i have like two chapters of it already done and i'm having this internal conflict of publishing this godamn book

i have so many internal voices talking to me it's not even funny i can't get anything done.

that's it.

so you prolly might not see me for a while. pretty sure that's a good thing though. but in the meantime, i'll control my emotions and try not to plot anyone's death.

have. a. nice. day.