1/1/15:
pre note: w00t thanks for almost 300 reads! this is my first book and i really appreciate it :D
happy new year guys!! i'm very proud of you. we made it. it's another year, another chance, another 365 days of awkward moments.... damn it.
after having a talk with some of my friends, it's clear that i can't shake my crush off. i just can't. there are too many memories to throw away, and too many photos to delete (yeah, being less lazy wasn't really part of my resolution).
oh well, old habits die hard (i don't know how that applies, but take it as you will). i'm just gonna wait and see what happens next. i'm getting used to these emotions anyways.
to be honest, i've been doing a lot of waiting... waiting for a response, waiting for a message, waiting for me to shut up because i talk a lot.
there. are. just. way. too. many. mixed. signals.
i just want to hate him sometimes, but then he does something cute, and i want to die.
like he acts like a complete douche, and then i ignore him for a week, then he says i look cute in my mei kusakabe costume for halloween, and just UGUHUGUGUGDHJGF
do you not like me? are you bipolar but crush-wise? are you trying to toy with my feelings for fun and for your friends to see?
what goes on in your fucking head?
has this become a one sided crush?
what is wrong with me.
boys are confusing. girls are confusing too, but boys are confusing.
things would be a lot easier if mood rings and necklaces were more accurate and in.
like we would see a color and notice that someone is feeling crappy, and they wouldn't have to go through asking for help. bc asking for help can be very scary.
to me, it feels like people think you're an attention whore who just wants people to notice you.
but you know, usually that's not true, bc people aren't that judgmental.
but it would be SO much easier you know?
if a girl was arguing with her bf and says "i'm fine" when clearly she's not, the bf wouldn't be confused at all and pull her close into a hug, and whisper "honey, you are not okay, i'm sorry" into her ear.
you know?!? why is it so hard to explain our feelings when we all know what's going on?
why are crushes so hard?
i could use some advice hehe *coughs* *nudges* *smashes with chair* i need help.
like any kind of help.
please.
YOU ARE READING
blender
De Todohi so this is sort of a journal bc why not share my thoughts to strangers instead of keeping them locked in a book?! haha so here we go :) ps. i tend to go on tangents, my train of thought is *points to air* up there.
