blender

weird things i doooooo

note: wowie wow over 800?! thank you guys!

1/24/15:

i'm hoping that the stuff i do is the stuff you do, then it won't be weird then right?

1. crying. as in, i avoid crying. if someone makes fun of me, i will not cry. if i injure myself, i will not cry. if i get lonely, i will not cry.

but, if i see a really good, well written movie (like blood diamond, it's really violent but i love the plot), i will shed maybe one or two tears. it's weird. i didn't cry during tfios though lol

2. bitchface. i could be like the happiest ball of sunshine and my face looks like i want to burn a pit of fire and toss everyone of my path in it.

it's so hard to look interested and happy (and i am I AM) for like 6 hours straight how's it possible??

3. shapeshifting. no, i can't actually shapeshift. i really want to though. i woke up from a dream when i was younger, and the dream was me being able to shapeshift.

i was so into it that for the next 10 minutes, i was intensely staring at my arm, channeling my mental energy into it, hoping that my arm would then into like a cat paw or something. ._____________.

4. cringe attacks. now i know for sure that i'm not the only one bc a special person also has this.... yeah, he's on fire (;

ok so, i'll be normally doing something like contemplating life, and then, a really really   awkward thing i did like 2654 years ago pops in my mind, then my entire body wants to reject that memory, so

i'll start flailing around while making the sound of a dying seagull.

5. overreacting. i don't know if i do this often, but i know that when i come across a big personal problem, i tend to think about it. all the time.

i will figure out all possible solutions, all possible outcomes, maybe jump to conclusions.

from there i make assumptions, and i live under stress. bc i don't know what he's thinking and it's so hard to come up with a solution when you don't even know your problem.

so if i'm overreacting, please tell me, and i will calm myself. i do not have any intention of annoying you.

6. speaking. i am very awkward when i talk. i find it's much easy to type what you want to say, since i get really tongue tied sometimes. like if i wanted to say something like "ball park", i'll say it like "pall bark". idk why, i just can't pronounce properly. but i love to talk. so i will talk on and on regardless of what happens.

7. i am oblivious to gossip. like all of my friends know EVERYTHING that's going on around my school, and i'm like "polar bonds are chemical bonds with unequally shared electrons."

8. mixed signs. again, i don't know when or how it happens, but i'm pretty sure that i give mixed signals. i might look disinterested, but inside, i am blowing up with interest.

i might not tell you how i'm feeling 24/7. i will try to drop a few hints if i'm feeling down, but won't tell you directly. but my hints usually don't work, so i resort to directly telling you.

idk why again, i just don't like creating a lot of attention when i talk about my feelings. i just need someone to talk things over with.

i don't need a mob of irritated people to talk to me just bc they feel guilty if they don't help.

well, i hope i'm not the only one hehe, hopefully, i can make myself easier to understand so you guys don't get confused.

good bye (: