timing : stozier

61

january 24/25

he shouldn't have texted stanley. he shouldn't have done it. 

richie's hands were buried in his hair. he scoffed at himself and stretched his arms across the counter, placing his head in his arms. he overthought every single move he made these days, especially around stanley, and this was making it so much worse. this, being the headache, of course. he wasn't exactly sober, but he wasn't exactly drunk either. 

he didn't really have time to let himself think about the fact that he relapsed, but there was that too. 

maybe i am like my mom

nevertheless, when stanley knocked on the door, richie answered it. it took him a while. a combination of several things; he wasn't seeing very well, the headache was overpowering most of his vision, and walking was extremely hard. you can imagine it had been a while since richie had felt himself under the influence like this. 

second of all, for the first ten seconds after the knock, richie was frozen in place. he knew it was probably stanley at the door, but the idea of it being axel had made his throat close up. not a great sign for his relationship, he knew that, he wasn't dumb. they had just been going through a rough patch. that wasn't axel's fault, if anything it was his. he should've never mixed stanley and axel. 

either way, though, he made it to the door and gripped onto the doorknob. using one hand to steady himself, he pulled open the door, and faced stanley, feeling so much guilt. stanley's face made him feel a little more guilty. richie gripped onto the door for dear life. maybe he was still drunk, because god he was dizzy.

"so, you relapsed. do you want to talk about it?" stanley said simply, richie exhaling loudly. stanley wasn't even sure if it was a sigh, it just seemed that breathing was a task that richie had to consciously focus on at this point. richie went silent for a moment, then lifted his head from staring at the ground to look at stanley.

"no." richie decided. stanley nodded softly, he was expecting that answer. 

god, stanley wanted nothing more than for richie to confide in him and for stanley to somehow take this goddamn weight off of richie. he knew it was unrealistic, but who said he couldn't dream? 

"okay, uh, how... how can i help you?" stanley then asked, richie just gazing at stanley for a moment. he had a lot of answers, and he didn't like any of them.

(that was a lie, he liked all of them, but he knew morally he shouldn't say them) 

he settled with, "i just want to sleep it off and worry about it in the morning, but i... i don't wanna wake up here, stan," which was absolutely not what he wanted to say, but it worked, kind of. stanley nodded, understanding, and richie had to stop himself from reaching out for stanley's shirt.

you don't want him, richie, you're just drunk and confused and angry

"okay, okay, you can sleep at my place, but bev and bill and eddie are at bill's... mike's in the car," stanley told richie, richie looking down at his shoes as if they were going to attack him. richie slowly sat down on the ground, stanley still standing in the doorway of the apartment. 

god, you're such a fucking burden

"i wanna see them. do you think we could go there, an-and i'll crash at yours afterwards?" richie said, slowly putting on one of his shoes, stanley watching in concern as richie just triple knotted his laces, rather than actually tying them. not his biggest worry, obviously, but it was definitely a question for another time. 

"yeah, absolutely," stanley replied, his mind wandering. where did he get the booze from?

richie finally finished 'tying' his shoes, and he put his hands on the ground as he tried to stand up, failing a little bit. hesitantly, stanley put a hand out for richie to take. richie seemed to look at his hand confused for a second before grabbing onto it and pulling himself up.

"cool," richie hiccuped, "axel's gonna kill me," he mumbled, standing up and backing away from stanley. richie looked around for a jacket. 

he's going to come home to a fucking mess and you won't be there

you won't be there

you don't have to fucking be there

"what was that?" stanley asked, richie taking a jacket (with struggle) off of the hooks on the wall and putting it on. he zipped it up, and stanley resisted the urge to help him.

"nothing." richie said, and stanley didn't press. 

"mike! look at you, holy shit!" richie exclaimed upon seeing mike sitting in the front seat. richie laughed at the fact that he felt a little like a child with his parents in the front seats and him in the back. 

"richie, you're real! incredible, i'll be honest i wasn't entirely sure you weren't a figment of bill, eddie, and stan's imagination." mike joked, richie smiling widely as he nodded.

"am i as sexy as you remember?" richie asked, mike barking out laughter. stanley smiled softly from his seat at the wheel, and he pressed onto the gas gently. richie fumbled with the seatbelt, mike watching him carefully.

"even more-so, i promise." mike replied, and richie let out a laugh through his teeth, hissing.

"how kind of you, mikey," richie grinned, "such flattery."

"i'm so glad you could come, rich, i can't believe it's been... like... forever," mike said, turning around in his seat to look at richie. 

"6 years. ish." stanley commented. mike glanced gently at stanley, then back to richie.

"yeah, it's been long as fuck. you're looking good though mike, i have to admit." richie said, mike uttering a small thank you. 

richie felt a little sick. maybe it was the car, maybe it was other things. richie did not remember stanley driving like this last time, but he supposed a fair chunk of stuff was different from the last time. 

he hadn't asked stanley, but he sorta assumed the others didn't know this was a relapse. richie could get away with calling it pre-gaming if he tried hard enough. mike did seem to watch him with concern, but he hoped that if mike knew, no one else did.

stanley hadn't ever been one to spill secrets.

"stanny, didn't you say bev doesn't live near here?" richie slurred a little from the backseat, shifting in his seat.

"she doesn't, we had to beg her to come visit," stanley replied, mike nodding along.

"man, bev.... mike... bill, eddie, staniel, the gang's almost entirely there. poor ben." richie continued to mumble to himself, his coherency meter falling a little short.

"oh, also you'll have to meet patty," stanley added, richie cheering faintly in the background. mike grinned at richie's small burst of excitement, then turned back in his seat. he looked over to stanley, who glanced back at him, only a small look of concern on his face.

mike mouthed, "i think he'll be okay", nodding subtly.

stanley sighed through his nose and looked back to the road.