timing : stozier

14

january 14/15

a/n: very short chapter.

richie knocked on stanley's window, surprised to see stanley get up. he half expected stan to be at bill's. stan stared at richie for a moment, wondering whether it was worth it to open the window. letting his heart get to the best of him, he opened the window, and let richie crawl in.

"what do you want?" stan hissed. richie wondered if there were tears in stan's eyes or whether it was just the moonlight. no time to wonder, richie. there are more important things. were there?

"we have to talk about it, stan." richie whispered, stan looking anywhere but in richie's eyes. richie sighed, clearly this was going to be harder than he wanted it to be.

"i don't wanna." stan replied, turning away. richie rolled his eyes and moved closer.

"you cheated on bill with me, stan. why did you kiss me?" richie kept his volume low, but asked the question aggressively. stan faced richie, shrugging.

"i don't know! and don't say cheated. it's not like we slept together or something." stanley replied, not good enough of an answer for richie. it was all either boy had been thinking about, that kiss. and yet stan still didn't have an answer for why.

"it's literally cheating. and i don't know? fuck off, just tell me why you kissed me!" richie spat quietly. 

"i honestly don't know! it just felt like the right thing to do in the moment. it wasn't, i know, but..." stan was starting to cry now, and richie could tell by his voice. stan took a shaky breath, "why does this even matter to you? i thought you didn't even like me anymore" he said, richie going silent. they sat still for a moment.

the silence was thick. real thick. 

"i don't. but that's still fucking cheating." richie sat down next to stan on his bed. stan nodded.

"i'm sorry. i never meant to be a cheater. i don't want to be a cheater." he said, his voice barely a whisper. the wind blew in through the open window and richie got chills.

"stan, i hesitate to ask this but," richie waited a moment, "do you plan on breaking up with bill?" he asked. 

"i don't know. yes? it's difficult." stan sniffled, cracking and starting to really cry, his breath unsteady. he hiccuped, and richie opened his arms to give stan a hug.

"stan, come here. you're still my best friend." richie soothed, stan leaning in and accepting the embrace. richie laughed silently to himself, knowing stan would leave wet spots on his shirt from his tears, not that richie cared. he remembered the last time stan had cried on his shirt. he had apologized profusely, but richie just laughed. 'i like my shirts soggy, it's all good.' richie had replied, earning a chuckle out of stan.

"you're mine too" stan whispered, "and i don't want to cheat on bill. i don't know what's wrong with me. it's like, he's great, he's nice, he's pretty, but he's not... i can't spend the rest of my life with him. not in a romantic way, anyway. i miss being his friend. i don't... i don't think i want to be his boyfriend anymore." he confessed, making more sense of his feelings as he spoke. until the words came spilling out, stan wasn't sure what to take from his feelings. 

"you know what you have to do... i'll be here for you if you want me to be." richie said, stan nodding and letting more tears fall. richie smiled sympathetically, watching stan wipe the tears off his face furiously. stan mumbled something that sounded roughly like thank you.

"i should go, but i'm always here to text if you need anything." richie stood up, stan looking up sadly. 

"okay. i'm just scared" stan's voice was incredibly quiet, but richie heard it nonetheless. he sat down on stan's windowsill, waiting a moment.

"i know. but you owe him the truth." richie whispered back, slipping out the window. he shut the window, stan feeling the last gust of wind. he didn't watch as richie snuck back into his own house. instead, he couldn't stop thinking. surprise, surprise.

you owe him the truth.

but what was the truth? 

don't let me tell him

he was scared of it. what if... what if the truth was that stan liked someone else? what if the truth was that stan was just leading bill on the entire time? what if stan was just a real dickhead? 

i don't want to be a cheater

it was too late, he was already a cheater. he didn't deserve bill, bill deserved so much better than him. stan didn't deserve anyone. he didn't deserve love, not if he was going to be so shitty about it. stan decided right then and there. he didn't deserve love, and he would make sure nobody could ever get attached to him. 

stan, come here. you're my best friend

it was too late.