timing : stozier

11

october 13/14

"how long do you think we'll last?" stanley murmured into bill's chest, one night staying over at bill's. they were on bill's bed, and stanley had been previously straddling bill and they'd been kissing for what felt like hours. now, stanley had lied down on top of bill in that position. stanley didn't know if what they were doing counted as making out. bill was accepting the position, his hands on stanley's back, underneath his shirt. they'd been mostly quiet, bill humming softly.

"wh-what?" bill responded, not entirely sure if he had heard him right. if he was honest, stan had been a little weird recently, but it was obvious to bill that he was trying so hard to be fine. he just couldn't discern what it was.

"us. like, in a relationship. i'm scared i'll lose you. how long do you think..." stan trailed off this time, letting bill fill in the blanks. bill had never really thought about it.

"i d-duh-don't know. but right now, even if its p-p-puh-pretend, let's say we'll last forever." bill spoke gently, somehow knowing what to say to soothe stan. at least, he thought it would soothe stan. normally, it would have, but stanley was scared of forever.

could you stay with bill for the rest of your life? who else would you love? if you've found something good, hold onto it. but is it what you want? what do you want? do you want a forever with anyone? could you hold onto someone forever? could you love r—

"okay" stan replied, still muffled by bill's shirt.

bill was a bit disappointed, hoping for a "i'd like that" or something along those lines. but okay would have to do. he let out a little giggle as stanley started kissing bill's collarbones.

stanley had a weird relationship with kissing bill. because to him, sometimes, it just felt like kissing. kissing for the sake of kissing. it was nice, but he didn't feel what he wanted to feel. it wasn't good. he figured he was just expecting too much. that maybe stan hadn't fallen in love with bill yet, and it was just in crush form.

but here he was, kissing bill's collarbones to hear him giggle.

and it felt okay, he guessed.

at least he was feeling something.

richie was alone, again, nobody in his bed. he had tried to avoid this, staying awake all night to talk to anybody who would listen (he had made a couple online friends). but he was tired now, and he had to go to sleep. he lied down in his bed, defeated. he didn't want to go to bed, because he could never stop thinking about stanley when he tried to sleep.

the absence of stanley, who was probably snuggling into bill like he used to with richie. richie was trying to let go of the crush he had on stanley, but it was so hard. he'd made a list of reasons to not like stanley, but he couldn't stop thinking about stan's worried side glances. how could stan have just done all of that with richie without it meaning anything? richie was just confused.

it didn't help that he could connect everything back to stan either. he always wanted to tell stories about stan, i mean, he had so many!

god, he hated it. but soon enough, he fell asleep, dreaming of a world where he didn't have to feel unrequited. where he didn't have to be so fucking alone.

but he always had to wake up, didn't he?

richie woke up, his pillowcase dampened from the night. he flipped it over and got up, expecting his dad to be at work. instead, his dad was just sitting in the living room, something unusual for richie. he was completely silent, too. richie tried to match his silence, quickly opening the fridge for a cheese string before trying to sneak back up the stairs. making it up successfully, richie picked up his phone. he saw texts from the group chat, not worrying about it too much.