BLACK SHEEP | DW

025.

"dear mind, stop thinking so much. i need sleep."

august approached quickly, skin smocked with heat rash and supersaturated air.

"oh how you bother," was all angela could utter to the girl who sat tanning in the sun with her.

they were propped up on lawn chairs, like perfect porcelain dolls, absorbing the sun that pressed down onto the front yard.

every once in a while a car would drive by the street, and venus would subconsciously slouch into herself in some attempt to keep from being too exposed.

the girl turned her eyes to her friend, displaying a confused glance. "oh how you bother," angela laughed again. "who are you afraid might see you?"

insecure, venus put her knees down, wrinkling her nose. "i don't know," she says honestly. "when we went to see that beach movie the other night all the girls looked so much different than me," she looked down at her own body, clad in a bikini.

angela laughed, shaking her head at the girls remark. "no one looks like those movie stars," she brought a small hand to her hair, letting it tumble down onto her shoulders. "that's why they're movie stars."

venus nodded at her statement, but still felt a bit overwhelmed. the girl had never felt insecure about her looks until recently, and she wasn't sure why.

usually she didn't care about other people's opinions of her, never mind boys, but lately she's been intent on seeing how many males she could capture the attention of. almost as if it made her more worthy or something.

"did ya hear," angela popped her pink bubble gum. her head was turned up, looking straight at the sky, and her eyes were closed to avoid the bright glare.

venus looked, fixing her sunglasses. angela was so pretty and it seemed she didn't even know it. the girl would never understand why she was so hung up on getting ponyboy to like her when she could have literally any other guy she wanted.

"hear what?" venus quipped.

angela lolled her head to the side, finally opening her eyes with a squint. "Dally got picked up. he'll be in the cooler for a few months no doubt."

venus bit the inside of her cheek. after angela found out she liked him, it seems she would always bring Dally up in conversation, almost as if she were surveying venus's response.

"that's a shame," venus hummed, her breath hitching in her throat. it would be too awkward for her to continue on, and she knew angela wouldn't understand.

ang, seeming content with the girls answer, nodded in finality. "yep," she stated shortly, chewing obnoxiously on her gum. "at least he didn't squeal on tim about the whole gun thing. after curly got sent to the reformatory, my dad threw a fit. can't imagine what would happen if tim were to get caught doing something stupid too."

venus rolled her wrist, absentmindedly listening to the girl ramble on. she didn't find much interest in what she was saying. venus was far more interested in letting her mind wander to Dally and his unfortunate circumstance.

"i swear sometimes i feel like i'm the only normal one in the family," angela sneered, sitting up to look at her friend whose mind was elsewhere. "are you even listening to me?" she asks.

venus snapped her head to the girl. "what- yeah, yeah i'm listening," she stuttered, sitting up too now.

they both stared at each other for a second, before angela let out a sigh. it was the type of breath one takes when they give up, or accept defeat. "fine," she mutters to more herself than venus. "fine. for the record this is a terrible idea and i don't even know why i'm coming up with it, but your my friend and i'm gonna help you," she states firmly, standing up.

venus played with the strap of her bathing suit nervously, rolling it between two fingers. "help me?" she questioned. "help me with what?"

angela rolled her eyes at her friends oblivious nature, grabbing venus's fidgety wrist and pulling her out of the chair in one swift motion. "stupid," she muses. "i'm gonna set you up."

shaking her head, she protested as angela pulled her into the house. venus had seen her friend's interactions before, especially with boys, and in complete honestly they were always so ungraceful. she panicked as the girl pulled her up the steps into the bedroom, dreading this wild plan of hers.

venus sat on her bed awkwardly, her hot skin dry due to the long sun exposure, and sweating. angela dug threw her desk, shuffling things around obnoxiously.

she pulled out three objects: pieces of paper, a pen and a bottle of venus's favorite perfume.

she threw it onto the bed and venus looked at her confused. ang stood expectantly, with her arms crossed in front of her body. "well?" she pressed on.

"well what? i'm confused," venus interrogated, surveying the paper.

"well," angela continued, sitting on the end of her bed, and uncapping the pen. "write him a letter."

venus stared at the paper before her, perfect eyebrows furrowed in contemplation. what was she supposed to write?

hey, sorry you got arrested but i like you so yeah.

the whole thing seemed so foreign and uncomfortable for the girl. how was she ever supposed to write to some boy she barely knew and tell him that he was what occupied her thoughts each night before she fell asleep?

how was she supposed to tell him that she thought she could be good for him and that she wanted him to be good for her too?

how are you supposed to say the things you wouldn't dare utter to another person? things that you only dream about.

venus figured she could spend her whole life staring at that blank sheet of paper contemplating what to say.