BLACK SHEEP | DW

044.

"i know you are threatened because i am a thunderstorm of a woman, with so much to say."
-blythe baird

as the light just peered through the blinds, making the walls glow a golden color and the birds sing on the saturday morning, venus found herself unable to open her eyes. the light kissed her eyelids, and she could only see the reddish color.

shit.
she kept thinking.
johnny killed a soc.

part of her hoped it was some type of dream. more accurately, a nightmare. that when she opened her eyes, last night would have never happened.

it had to be a dream. right?

tim didn't push her. her face wasn't all bruised up. johnny didn't kill a soc. she didn't kiss Dally. and she certainly, wasn't under his arm, in his bed, right now.

none of it was real. it was all a dream.

it had to be a dream.

she couldn't open her eyes. she didn't want to. she didn't want it to be real. because when she opened her eyes, if she saw that stupid room at buck's and she saw that stupid cut above her eyebrow, and she saw ponyboy's stupid sweatshirt he left on the ground— she might scream.

"would you quit it," he groaned from beside her, rolling to face his back to her. "you move anymore, man, you'll fall off."

holy shit. it was real.

jolting up, she gasped, placing a hand over her pounding heart as it threatened to beat right out of her chest. "what the fuck is wrong with you," she almost scared him with her sudden action.

Dally laid on his back, with his arm behind his head, as he watched venus grapple with her emotions and try to process the happenings of last night. "this dream feels really real," she said to him sheepishly, before poking his arm. "so real," she whispered.

snatching her hand, he held it tight between his clenched fingers. "stop poking me," he muttered, tossing her hand down so it was by her side once again. "this isn't a dream."

"no... no," she shook her head, almost delirious "that's exactly what you would say if you were in my dream. i'm dreaming, and this isn't real," she told herself more sternly this time.

"oh, so you have dreams about me? huh, murph?" he laughed, and laughed harder when the crimson color danced across her bruising cheeks.

shaking her head, the chocolate curls dipped in front of her eyes, hanging loosely. the pounding headache, and Dally's laughter was enough to tell her that this was real— very real.

"maybe i should've went with them," venus muttered, pressing their fingers into her hair as she brushed it back messily. "i can't believe johnny killed that soc. they must be so scared. i could've went with them—"

Dally rolled his eyes at her incessant rambling, cutting her off. "would you stop that?" he complained, running a careful hand over his face sleepily. his voice was still strained from not being used, and it was deeper then usual— like the look that stormed in his eyes.

he was suffering from an inner turmoil, one he couldn't express with words, or justify with actions. "how do you suppose you would've helped the kids by going with them, man," he grumbled. "your more of a help to them here."

"how?" she sounded helpless, like she was searching for an answer that no one had. "how am i supposed to help?"

finally, he sat up, hand ghosting to his side in pain when he adjusted himself. for a moment they stared at each other— the thought of last night completely settling in their brains.

the kiss.

what it meant, neither of them were sure. but it was turning in both of their minds.

Dally held his hand out for her, but she didn't take it, just stared blankly. uncomfortable, he placed it back on the sheets.

venus knew what was coming— he wanted to talk about it. he saw the way she looked at him, like she was getting invested already, and like Dally always did, he abandoned things before they had a chance to abandon him.

"so.." he trailed off.

she couldn't imagine what she wanted him to say. maybe that he liked her. maybe that she had finally gotten through to him. venus was eager and hesitant at the same time. a constant war in her head between her unknown desires and harsh reality.

he opened his mouth again, delivering the final blow to her. "i don't want to date you," he lied.

Dally wasn't sure what he expected. maybe he wanted her to get angry with him. maybe he wanted her to beg him to reconsider. but in that moment, when she was so caught up that she only sat, and smiled, he felt part of him break.

"okay," she said.

because in that moment, she was okay.

it ate him alive, her answer, but she didn't expect any less from him. he initiated the kiss, not her, so she knew not to get her hopes up about anything.

but Dally, he lied.

like he always did to her, he lied.