BLACK SHEEP | DW

033.

"it's a beautiful thing when two people are equally obsessed and infatuated with each other and don't care about anything else."

seething.

Dally was enraged, angry and, simply put, seething.  it wasn't the letter. of course it wasn't the stupid letter. but it was the feelings that were tethered to that writing.

had he messed it all up? was he too cold and apathetic in his last letter and messed it all up?

more importantly, why did he care? like he hadn't even recognized himself, the way he reread her words and felt the pain root itself deep in his chest, he considered starting a fight in the cafeteria just to feel some different type of hurt.

was what he thought coming to fruition all along? perhaps venus wasn't that different, and she was just going to ditch him when things got a little hard.

but were they only a little hard? or was he unreasonable, was he too harsh, did he push her away like he did with everything else?

why did he care?

it had been almost a week since he received her letter, and she hadn't written another one taking back her words, saying she didn't mean it— perhaps what she said was true. she was done.

Dally realized it. he had completely sent her over her limit and took advantage of her kindness. suddenly, being bothered by her letters didn't seem too bad.

it was bewildering, why he sat on his poor excuse for a mattress and could only bring himself to think about how he took all of that for granted. even a letter calling him an absolute terrible excuse for a human would be better than her absence.

so for once, in his life, he tried to push his pride away. he tried.

he tried to be a little less cold, a little less dismissive.

he tried to maybe let this girl in, just a little, while he still had no attachment to her— at least he hoped this wasn't what this is.

he tried.

in one stupid letter, he tried. in one stupid letter, he would be a little friendlier, and hope that he hadn't ruined it all for himself.

venus,

ok so what? so what if i don't say certain things in a fancy way like you do? im not like you.

i dont know what you expect from me. you sent me a letter first, and now youre upset that its not the responses you wanted?

what did you want? did you want me to complain about how ive never got shit, got fucked over and have been and out of jail since i was ten? did you want me to tell you all about how my parents like to pretend i dont exist and have it better in here than i ever had it out in the real world?

cause im not gonna do that.

you might be able to send letters talking about all the shit going on in your life, but i wont do that. so if you really cant deal with it, then sure, stop writing me.

but if you can, for one second stop trying to be some type of shrink to me and stop acting like you have to fix me or whatever other stupid idea you have in your head, then write back.

im not gonna beg you, or whatever else you expected.

but maybe, one day, you can be my acquaintance,
Dally.