BLACK SHEEP | DW

006.

"we all go through phases in life. if you are not okay now, it's okay. you will find your way."

she could hardly hear her own thoughts over the loud revving of engines, never mind ponyboy's explanation of what was even happening. 

"that over there," he said pointing to a group of about seven boys, "that's shepard's gang. tim shepard that is, not his brother: he's only about as old as me."

venus nodded, cringing as she heard some yelling from behind her. deciding it was in her best interest not to turn around, she willed pony to continue. "alright, so what's their deal?"

pony, who grabbed venus's wrist to lead her away from the commotion that was happening near them, continued. "well tim shepard's good buddies with a guy from our gang, you haven't met him, and his brother, curly, he's alright when he's not in trouble with the police. you see, that's the difference between us and them."

without hesitation, pony sat on the hood of an unknown car, and venus winced as she heard it creak under the sudden weight of his body, but he didn't look bothered. as she leaned against the hood too, he explained on. "gangs like shepard's, they're real organized. they all got a rap sheet with the police and they fight with all kinds of weapons, but us? well we're just some buddies who stick together, you dig?"

nodding her head she smiled to herself thinking about what the store clerk had said. "don't get caught up with the wrong crowd". she was happy that if she was going to at hang out with groups that liked to fight and get into trouble, it was at least the nicer of the options. she bet that same clerk would have a heart attack if he had seen her now.

"so if that's shepard's gang, who are they?" venus asks pony, pointing to a group of guys who were looking under the hood of a car that she was sure would race that day.

pony laughed at her question in a mocking way, but not at her, rather at the state of the boys themselves. "those are the brumly boys, you know from the suburbs? they're kind of like shepard's, but they just get worse as they get older. they all have this weird slang and half of them probably can't read a newspaper, so much as spell their name."

shaking her head, amused, she questioned him further. "weird slang?"

"yeah," he said, taking out his pack of cigs. "they call rumbles, "bop-action". it's something awful."

she laughed now, and he smiled proudly. to pony, making venus laugh was one of the proudest accomplishments. he had never been too good at talking to girls, never mind girls who weren't "greasy broads" and it boosted his confidence a bit when he thought he had done a good job.

flicking the top of the cigarette pack open, he groaned when he noticed it was empty, and crushed it, littering it to the ground. "where's two-bit? i know he's got a cancer stick," he muttered, more to himself then venus.

but nonetheless, venus replied, "no worries, pony, i got one here," she said, pulling her own pack out of cigs from the pocket of her jacket.

he looked at her, bewildered, but then figured he was being impolite. accepting the cigarette thankfully, venus pulled out one for herself, "got a lighter?" she asked.

nodding, he lit her cigarette for her, and watched as she took a drag from the other end. "thanks," she sighs as she breathes out the tobacco smoke.

he shrugged in return, unsure of what to say, and lit his own now. pony watched venus intently, surveying her every move. the whole thing seemed crazy to him, and he wasn't sure why someone like her would be rejected by the socs just because of their family. because venus, well she certainly wasn't a greaser, she certainly wasn't like steve or two-bit or even him for that matter, but she wasn't a soc either. for just a moment he wondered if there was even a place in between.

"so what's your dad like?" pony asked abruptly. immediately, after seeing the girl cringe at the question, he regretted it.

in all honestly, pony had to tell the other guys about venus's father, about how he was gay, otherwise they would have been asking too many questions about why she was hanging around them in the first place.

he felt bad about it, and he wasn't usually one for spreading rumors, but he figured if it didn't matter to him it wouldn't matter to his friends neither.

the other boys joined the two now, while venus was trying to find the words to answer pony's question. "my dad?" she asks rhetorically. "well he's an alright guy i guess, at least when he's not playing hank williams."

"goshalmighty," two-bit exclaimed loudly. "i hate hank williams! what an evil bastard."

venus chuckled now at his remark, nodding her head excited that someone finally shared the same opinion as she. "right!" she replied with the same amount of energy. "the worst."

"well what else?" soda asks now curious, "you got any other family?"

figuring now was the time to be completely transparent, because venus saw it didn't work out too good for her last time when she wasn't, the girl decided to trust a little. "well besides that," she says motioning to what she said before. "my mother was okay," she said, before pondering the statement for a moment. "who am i kidding, she was terrible. she left cause she was too afraid, like we all weren't. pshh- it's all messed up, sodapop."

he bit his tongue, and feigned like he wasn't sure what she was saying, but he knew. pony had told him everything last night when he couldn't stop blabbing about the girl, and he in turn might have let it slip to the rest of the gang. "left?" he choked out, doing quite a bad job at lying.

"yeah, she left. don't you know?" she asked bitterly, "my dad's gay. thought the whole town might've known by now."

before any of them could get in a comment, she continued. "the whole thing's a big joke. people care too much about others when they should really just mind their own business. because everyone's got their skeletons, or baggage, or whatever, right? so why's mine so interesting?"

they all looked awkwardly toward each other, and steve let out a cough. "i'll tell you why. it's because when you could pick on someone else, that might have it worse than you, it makes you feel better about all the shit that's wrong in your life."

though the boys avoided eye contact with venus, too scared to look at her after her dark tangent, soda was brave enough. he looked at her with sad eyes, trying to show her that he understood, but what he saw in front of him shook him. the hard expression she held, the way she fought back any emotion that dared creep upon her face, soda knew what that was. he was all too familiar with it; he had seen it in the people around him.

this wasn't the look of someone who was strong and unbothered, it was a girl who was broken to the point of numb feeling.