BLACK SHEEP | DW

046.

"realize deeply that the present moment is all you have."

what would you do for the people you care about?

would you risk you reputation? would you risk your job? would you risk your life?

would they do the same for you?

the wind had flown through venus's hair— most of it was wrapped up in a neat little head scarf. the kiss of the sun: sharp and hot and (for a girl, as she was, then) expectant.

venus knew that the sun that rose had to come down eventually. that the fiery ball of flame would abandon the moon, as it always had. and no matter how prominent it might be in the sky, no matter how it may scorch everything underneath it— it would always go away.

it was almost noon. venus only knew that because KOMA AM radio station host had announced it.

it was only noon when Dally said, "stop punching my arm." they had been driving for over an hour by now, and venus had gotten almost stir crazy.

he didn't want to talk. he didn't want to let her drive. and he didn't want to play any game with her. just listen to the radio. so, naturally, every time they drove through a light— just as it was turning yellow— or she saw a car with a broken tail light, she delivered a swift punch to his arm. "well, then you gotta get me first," she argued, hiding the smirk behind her hand.

"i'm not playing your stupid game," he defied, focusing too hard on the road for what his crummy driving was presenting itself to be.

venus felt warm. not just because the sun had beamed delicately over her arms, not just because the leather seats were absorbing all the heat and radiating it back into her legs. she felt a warmness in her heart.

as her arm draped out the side of the car, curling back in as it rested over the rolled down window, she took slight notice to the ring she had placed on her thumb. it hadn't fit any other finger— but she didn't want to take it off.

it wasn't clear what the two had become, only that they slipped briskly into an intimacy in which they would never recover.

her head haloed with heat, but summer had been far too gone to leave any sunburn. his hand held the wheel, not so carefully, as the static began to intensify on the radio.

too far out of range from tulsa now, they were left with the harsh buzzing sound crackling against their ears.

a tap, a light tap, hit her arm— pulling her away from the distorted thoughts in her brain. when she looked down, she noticed Dally had pressed his knuckles into her bicep. "wha- what did you do that for?" she was baffled.

"yellow light," he smirked.

though the roads end was out of sight, venus could not think of the end at all. like love— it began, and she could not see when it might stop.

when she looks at the boy, who's voice had been stolen from his throat, she figured she might choke on the silence.

and even then, she could not think of those harmful pasts, the ones she did not bury properly inside of her. all she saw was the universe, hidden behind one human being.

because venus might have been the brightest star, but Dally was whole constellations.

rolling against the gravel road, the car had halted to a stop. "this is the church you sent them to?" venus crinkled her nose in disgust.

"what do you want from me?" he argued. "i got them a hideout."

shaking her head lightly, she hopped from the car, hesitating her entrance to the building that looked like it might be filled with black mold or wild animals. her feet wavered, as Dally looked through the slits of a wooden board to make sure they were still in there— and when they were, the two walked through the door.

the boys were asleep on the rooting wood of the pews. for a minute venus thought they looked peaceful, for a minute she forgot about the situation all together.

"hey blondie!" Dally tugged on pony's hair, awaking him unpleasantly.

he grumbled as he sat up, still trying to figure out what was happening in his sleepy state, and then greeted the two teens that came to visit him.

"wake up," Dal shook johnny, who was stubbornly laying there. "hey johnny, rise and shine, man," he tossed.

"how you been? how's soda doing?" ponyboy started in on the questions before johnny joined in.

"hey guys! how are you?"

"is he upset?"

"are the fuzz after us?"

the questions were hectic, and came in so fast neither of them could keep up. venus stepped forward, leaning against a column, trying to digest and process everything.

it seemed she wasn't the only one. "wait," Dally interjected. "one thing at a time. are you guys hungry? i'm starving, man," he says.

it seems they were bewildered by his statement— at how he could say that he was starving when they had been salvaging their food. "you're starving? try baloney for four days!"

this made Dally laugh.

sighing, venus sat next to ponyboy on the pew, reaching her hand into her pocket carefully. "hey pb," she said softly, revealing a folded up piece of paper that had carefully been pressed to fit comfortably in her pocket. "this is from soda," she told him. "he really wanted to give it to you."

"how did he know i was here?" he asked her, carefully accepting the letter.

flinching, she looked to Dally who was already staring at her with an expectancy. with a face that said, i told you not to tell anyone. "he didn't," she half-lied. "but he... knew i could give it to you."

"son-of-a," Dally muttered, distastefully, as he wiped his mouth with frustration. "you promised you weren't going to say anything, man."

"i didn't!" she argued. "i made no such promises, and i didn't tell him where they were."

ponyboy drowned out the two who were arguing like an old married couple, and focused only on the lettering from his brother. johnny, on the other hand, stared intently at the ring that was on venus's thumb.

he felt his stomach turn. she couldn't possibly have forgiven him for everything, had she? and why was Dally so intent on this girl?

venus might have been the closest johnny had to a role model recently. she might of been the closest thing he had to someone that listened when he spoke— that tried to help.

of course, the gang cared about him a whole lot, but venus... she was someone he cared about. johnny didn't want to face the reality, that Dally would probably break her.

because venus, if she wasn't strong, johnny wouldn't know what to do. she was supposed to be the one there for him. she was supposed to be the one that helped him.

because if venus broke, then everyone could break.