BLACK SHEEP | DW

005.

"you can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. you have to go to them sometimes."
- a.a. milne

hope is such a trivial thing.

for starters, venus hoped she would make good friends here in tulsa. venus hoped one day her dad and his boyfriend would be loved and accepted in this cruel world. and venus hoped, most simply, to kill this anxiety that rooted itself in the pit of her stomach.

does holding onto hope really make you stronger?

she wished she were stronger now. watching her hand go to knock for the fifth time on ponyboy's door was certainly unveiling how much of a wuss she was to the most mundane tasks.

that was her downfall really- she could cuss out anyone, could practically stare evil straight down without batting an eyelash, but she couldn't knock on the door of the boy she had met last night. why was she so nervous? after all, he did invite her.

finally, like ripping off a bandaid she wrapped her knuckles on the door, and, within a split second, it was opened to reveal her new acquaintance with a bright smile on his face.

venus almost laughed at how quickly he opened the door. "wow, you must have been right there," she jokes.

pony rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, letting out a forced chuckle. "y-yeah i was," he said, opening the screen door now. "come on in. i'll introduce you to everyone."

she hadn't notice how loud it really was until they all dropped dead silent upon venus entering the house. still, she smiled shyly.

some part of her felt like prey entering a lion's den. they were all friends, all comfortable with where they were and venus was nothing more than an intruder disturbing that peace.

for a second she thought that they might wonder why she was there in the first place, or ask her to leave, but when she saw his familiar smile, and sodapop certainly made her feel more welcome.

"you're the girl from the gas station," he said with childlike happiness. "pony went on about you all night-"

"shut up!" ponyboy cut him off, face now crimson red, like a sunburn.

giggling at the interaction, she nodded. "i am," she says simply. "which, by the way i'm really sorry. those... soc's," she choked out the word as it was an unfamiliar note on her tongue, "had no right."

he never lost his colgate smile, though. "what are you sorry for? you stood up for us," soda says now, placing a hand on her shoulder. "if anything i should be thanking you. if the boss caught me in one more fight he oughta fire me."

"he oughta fire you anyway, soda, with how much you mess around instead of working," another familiar face strolled out of the kitchen. steve, as she remembered his name being, and he threw himself on the recliner chair in the living room.

soda rolled his eyes, grabbing his friends jean jacket and pulling him up. "well darry oughta kill you, sitting in his chair," he shot back.

steve chuckled, "yeah? he ain't even here, he won't know," he said, sitting back down. "unless someone tells him," he gave a side glance to pony who shook his head in annoyance.

venus, who was still awkwardly standing in the living room, played with her hands, trying to masquerade her nervousness. there's nothing more she dislikes than being ostracized, and she was finding herself lost with their mindless conversation.

"come sit by me, venus," soda waved her over to the couch. "we're gonna leave in a minute, just got to wait for two-bit to get here otherwise we ain't got a ride there."

she obliged, sitting next to the boy, and pretended she had any idea what he was talking about. soda held his shoes in his hands strangely, and venus wondered why he didn't just put them on.

it seemed he noticed her stare, and he smiled in realization. "hate shoes," he said simply, holding them up for her to see.

she laughed lightly, a polite chuckle, and replied, "you're one interesting guy, sodapop."

"interesting alright," a new voice cut in, entering through the front screen door. "completely off his rocker is more like it!"

"oh, you shut your mouth two-bit," soda shoots back.

venus now turned to look at the boy who had arrived, sizing him up. his hair, like the rest of the boys, was greased and he wore a leather jacket. though, admittedly, she wasn't the only one observing her counterpart. two-bit too widened his eyes in realization that there was actually someone new in the curtis's living room.

"well, what do we have here?" he said, coming over to the girl. "i'm not sure how you managed to get such a pretty lady to even so much as speak to you, sodapop," the boy, two-bit, laughs out.

soda rolls his eyes, but never loses his happy-go-lucky smile, and throws one of his shoes at two-bit, narrowly missing him.

"well you certainly don't play baseball," venus chuckled under her breath.

he shoved her lightly, still being gentlemanly enough to not actually hurt her like he would have done if it were anyone else, and two-bit's eyes widened at her remark. "i'm liking her more and more every minute!"

putting his hand out for venus, she went to shake it but was surprised when he yanked her from the couch. she almost let out a small scream in spite of herself, but refrained. "well let's get going!" two-bit exclaims, throwing his arm around the girl. "i got money on shepard and i don't wanna miss it."

"bum odds," pony says, following two-bit and venus out the door.

steve groaned out, "didn't know they were letting kids go." venus cringed at his rough remark. she figured they were friendly enough that the comment didn't mean much to pony, but she was still uneasy. after all he did stick up for her when those soc's made sly insults the night prior.

"didn't know they were letting clowns go either, but here we are," pony mutters under his breath, walking next to venus.

she let out a small laugh, not loud enough for anyone but pony, and maybe two-bit who was pulling her towards his car, to hear. pony gave her a sly smile, knowing she heard.

the five piled into the car, which seemed like it might collapse under the weight of them all, but not before kicking soda out of the front seat. "nuh-uh buddy," two-bit said, shoving him to the back. "where are your manners? lady rides in the front."

as venus sat in the passengers seat, soda groaned, squished in the back. "no fair two, she's got shorter legs than i do!"

"yeah we're packed like sausages back here," steve shouts. just as venus was about to offer up the seat, two-bit shakes his head aggressively.

"forget it pal. we ain't cramming the pretty lady in the back with you fools," two-bit said, starting the ignition of the car.

venus hid her smile in her arm. she wasn't sure why, but she had felt more welcomed by these few boys in just minutes than she had by the socs in days. she wasn't about to get her hopes up though, she knew what could happen. exactly what happened at the nightly double.

they could turn on her any minute.