The Bastard Queen (Viciously Yours #2)

Chapter Fifty-Five: An Enigma

"Oh. My. Divines." I forced out, completely mortified as I jumped to my feet. "Stop talking, Malachy. I'm begging you."

"Macha, all I'm saying is that maybe-"

Slapping my hands to my ears, I loudly sang, "LA LA LA LA LA! I'M NOT LISTENING!"

The features of his brown face twisted as he crossed his arms over his chest, "Very mature, Macha. If you had-"

"No." I stressed, throwing my arms out dramatically to my sides. "No. I've sat here and listened to you lecture me on everything from the time I cleaned out an entire chocolatier shop to my choice in clothing in the seventeenth century. But I will not, I absolutely fucking refuse, I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon then sit here and listen to you talk about my first time." There had to be some type of law against this, Divines I couldn't even look him in the eye.

"Why not? It was so cute. You were all nervous and clumsy, like a baby fawn. And you completely freaked out afterwards. It was adorable."

Groaning in sheer embarrassment, I fought the urge to run away, "We are not talking about this Malachy. Not ever. I can't believe you saw that, I thought no one had seen. Why couldn't you let me continue living in ignorance!"

He shook his head, dark blue locks shining in the starlight, "Would you relax? Divines, everyone's first time is more or less like that. Ifreann, mine was similar to-"

"Is it possible to pray to yourself to kill yourself? Because being a god, I'm a little lost on who I should be selling my soul to in order to make this trainwreck end."

Dark blue eyes rolled, "I don't understand why you're so embarrassed, Macha. I'm your father, not a stranger."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I shrieked. "Because it doesn't!"

"Is it because you threw up afterwards? Because that's normal too. I mean, I didn't but it happens."

Pressing my palms to my eyes, I shook my head in frantic desperation. I was going to kill him. I was going to kill my already dead father. There was no other way. Really, I have no choice. He won't stop fucking talking and I don't think anything will ever erase this conversation from my mind. How does he not get that certain things you just don't talk to your kid about? The only way to salvage the tiny shred that was my dignity at this point was to kill him. Divines, would the bastard even stay dead though? Could you even kill someone who was already dead?

"Or is it because you slipped in it afterwards? I have to admit that was hilarious. "

Was it possible to feel homicidal rage and crippling humiliation at the same time because if not, I just created a new emotion. I think I'll call it homicidal humiliation. With my palms still covering my eyes, I snapped, "You are such an asshole."

"Macha, honestly. You've learned so much since then, so what if your first kill was sloppy? Everyones is."

Please who ever the fuck is listening, get me the ifreann out of here! Pulling my hands from my eyes, I pressed them together tightly and shook them with each word, "I cannot explain, in enough languages in the multiverse, how much I do not want to talk about this with you."

"Why?"

I opened my mouth to snap at his oblivious question when a bout of nausea hit me hard. Hands flying to my stomach, I bent at the waist in reflex and ballooned my cheeks when I felt a thick sensation climbing up my throat. Swallowing forcefully, I panted as my body flashed hot and then cold rapidly. A heaviness settled in my bones and without my consent my hands dropped to my sides while I swayed on my feet.