The Bastard Queen (Viciously Yours #2)

Chapter Twenty-Four: Secret Free

Swiping the sudsy rag over my neck, I sighed as the cold water glided over my heated limbs. After sobbing myself to sleep the night or day before, I wasn't entirely sure what time everything had gone down, I woke up sweating with dry tear tracks covering my cheeks. The sun was high in the sky this morning and the heat of the rays burned their way straight through the tent walls. Covered in sweat with throbbing eyes, I decided that before anything else could be done I needed a bath.

The silver ink covering my fingers winked in the sunlight coming through the seams of the blue tent. Everything seemed to hold a strange fragility today, like a sharp breeze could come along and sweep us all away. Even the way I was moving was soft and gentle, which was unnerving but not unpleasant. Better than feeling the embarrassment of last night's events though. I didn't particularly care that I attacked Cillian but it was the false reality, that I had been submerged in while doing it, that was terrifying.

Dropping the rag, I raised both hands to my eyeline and looked at the bare skin of my wrists. For some reason, the only chains that had ever bothered me in prison were the ones on my hands. The restriction of not being able to defend myself...the forced feeling of vulnerability. A shiver trailed over my shoulders at the thought and I shook it free from my head. Slapping my hands against the sides of the tub, I curled my fingers around the edges and pushed myself beneath the water.

Skin sliding over metal, I exhaled the air from my lungs and took comfort in the absolute silence surrounding me. No one was urging me to forget the past and move on, no one was questioning if I was stable, no one was calling me Queen. I was just Macha. Macha, the Unseelie Fae, who went up against Mab and lost. Macha, who went through an unspeakable amount of pain for the past seven hundred and fifty years. Macha, who liked chocolate and laughed when sliding a sword into someone's gut.

More importantly, in this tub, I was the Macha who had the time to heal and accept what had happened to her. But as a pair hands grabbed onto my shoulders and ripped me from the water, I realized that I was the version of myself who'd always have to put others before my own needs. I just hadn't realized how hard that'd be.

With my moment of tranquility ruined, I sucked in a large gasp of air and shoved my hair away from my face, "What in the Great Divine Fool do you think you're doing?"

Silver eyes raced over my face as his hands squeezed my shoulders tightly, "What am I doing? What are you doing? Were you trying to drown yourself? I told you, I'd keep you above water."

Brows furrowed, I gave him a disgruntled look, "I am not trying to kill myself. And even if I were to drown, it wouldn't kill me." When he continued to look at me, I flicked some bath water at him, "See? It's not even laced with iron."

"That's not funny, Macha." He barked, spying my smirk.

Rolling my eyes, I huffed sarcastically, "Apologies, If I scared you Commander but I'm fine. You didn't need to burst into my tent like your ass was on fire and ruin my bath. Why does everyone ruin my baths, anyway?"

"I did not burst into your tent. I called out to you from the otherside of the privacy screen but you didn't answer. So, I peeked around to check if you were even here and I found you underwater. And after what you said last night, I was worried that you...What do you mean everyone's ruining your baths?"

"I told you that I was going to let you help me last night. You shouldn't have assumed." I replied, ignoring his question.

The furrow in his silver brows deepened, "That's right and we're starting today. I brought you oatmeal again and you're going to eat every bite. I'm going to watch you too so don't even think about burying it underground."