The Bastard Queen (Viciously Yours #2)

Chapter Forty-Two: Creating A Man

Destined. We were destined mates. How, when, why....I ran the words over and over again in my mind, trying to get a grasp on my new reality. The fact that I had met and spoke with my father was the farthest thing from my mind at the moment. What was on my mind though, was the fact that I knew who I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. It didn't freak me out that I technically had an official mate, but it did freak me out that I had one now. In this moment, I was mated and it didn't matter that Cillian didn't know yet because to me? We were mated.

And that's why my heart was currently racing. Because the entire course of my life had once again been flipped on its head. Since I had been young despite everything I had gone through as a child, I knew that I wanted to grow up and have a family. I wanted to do the whole get mated and pop out a few kids shtick but I hadn't expected it to happen this soon. At almost three thousand years old, I was right in the middle of my prime and the thought of getting mated had been pretty distant to me. So the fact that I was mated now, literally overnight to someone I was sleeping with that also happens to be someone I used to hate? Yeah, that was mind fuck.

Oh! And let's not forget that I still need to tell him. My feet had been burning a path in the carpet of my tent for the last hour at the thought of telling Cillian. I had a feeling once I told him he was going to want to get mated immediately and that was what was giving me anxiety. It wasn't that I didn't want to mate Cillian, it was that I didn't want to be mated right now. I wasn't even sure if I was going to live past this war, I didn't want to do that to him. Sharing a bond that deep only to lose it within a couple of months wasn't something a lot of people could handle.

Or....I could be wrong, I thought. Twisting my heel into the carpet, I turned right back around and started towards the bed. Maybe Cillian wouldn't want to get mated right away or maybe he wouldn't want to get mated at all. He could just want to ignore it until after the war and keep doing what we were doing. The sex was great, I enjoyed being around him and more importantly I trusted him. Cillian turning out to be my destined mate....just felt right. But I couldn't ignore the fact that I didn't want to be mated at this point in time.

Groaning, I placed my hands on my head and turned to pace towards the other side of the tent. I could feel a headache starting to form in my right temple as I tried to figure out what the hell I was going to do. Part of me was telling me to roll the dice and tell him while another part of me that I was more comfortable with was telling me to wait. So that was the choice I was facing now: tell him and deal with the eventual argument we were going to have or wait to tell him and possibly make him angry enough to make him walk away from us.

Sighing, I paused mid-way to the bed to look up at the ceiling and shake my head. Who the fuck was I trying to kid? I was going to tell him, I just didn't want to have to be the one to tell him. There was also the chance that with how stubborn he was he'd think I was only going to mate him so I could transform safely. Buuuttt....Malachy never said we had to be mated in order for Cillian to help me through the transformation...Hmmmm, I do love me a loophole. Maybe all he really needed to do was touch me during the transformation to help me...which meant that I didn't-

No. Bad, Macha. You already made a decision. Stick with it.

"Son of a bittttchhhhl." I whined, irritated with myself. "I need chocolate."

With that said, I closed my eyes as the ground fell away underneath me with my mind on delicious gooey chocolate. Sound met my ears before my feet hit the ground, pots and pans clanging together followed by voices all talking a mile a minute. Eyes opening, I quickly stepped back and out of the way of a man juggling a large pot before starting towards the chocolate cabinet. Everything was going according to plan, everyone was so busy trying to get breakfast together that I hadn't been noticed. Unfortunately for me though, the cabinet squeaked unreasonably loud as I tried to open it quietly.