Finding Harry

37. Finding Ice Cream

I feel terrible for the lies I spouted to Ray. I have to admit I went further than I should have but when I watched the words I spoke truly sink into his skin and the way he flipped to calling me a selfish bitch caused real anger to bubble up inside me.

Even if I totally deserved being called that.

The crying stopped half an hour ago. Well I didn't stop crying but tears just stopped falling, like I had run out of the energy to create anymore. My chest heaves as I clutch tightly to the edge of the deck so hard I wouldn't be surprised to find multiple splinters in the palms of my hands later, my legs now dangling over the side above the murky waters.

Hopefully Ray will cool down, I'll go into work on Monday and we can pretend today never happened. This undoubtedly means the end of our morning surfs but I had the right idea keeping our relationship strictly at work at the beginning.

Our friendship had opened up roads that I didn't deserve to go down.

I don't deserve to kiss him, taste the salt on his lips and feel all the happiness and pure joy being in his presence gives me. Not that I think I'm a completely bad person who deserves absolutely nothing, but after the person I've been for so long I know I don't deserve him.

My breathing slows. Taking one final deep breath I pull myself together. I can't exactly go home and tell my grandparent's I left work early so I make no effort to move from my position. I'm not hurting anyone by staying here and looking around me at all the unoccupied boats.

I'll stay here until it turns to seven then I'll walk home. Ray will of just assumed I went straight there so hopefully he won't text anyone asking where I am.

"As if he cares where I am after today" I hiss under my breath. I know that's not the way he is though, but then again who am I to assume anything of who he is. I'd never even seen him angry before today.

"It's not her she's at work right now" Voices brings me out of my thoughts but I ignore it. I had been lucky so far for the fact no one had come by but I'm sitting in a public area so it was only a matter of time.

"It is that's totally her hair" the voices grows closer and more familiar, oh god.

"Harry!" my head snaps towards the voice on instinct and I mentally smack myself on the head.

Yasmine and Jessie start running in my direction, the dock creaking underneath their steps from the short distance they were standing away from me.

"See I told you it was her!" Yasmine has a satisfied grin on her face and nudges Jessie smugly.

Once they get close enough to properly see my face they both look at me with concern, I pull my lips up in a pathetic attempt at a smile.

"Hey guys" My voice comes out as more as a croak and I wince at the sound of it.

They both rush over and sit down on either side of me, wrapping their arms around my shoulders and pull me into a hug not needing any explanation. Shit do I really look that fucking bad. I don't push them off me though, the comfort feels nice even though I don't deserve it.

I'm in a mess entirely of my own making.

"Yasmine can you go get some ice creams please?" Jessie gives Yasmine a side eye but she doesn't get the hint.

"But I want to find out what's wrong with Harry" She looks at me before taking my hand in hers, giving it an encouraging squeeze.

"I think Harry needs some ice cream" Jessie speaks softly.

"Harry is right here and would like if you didn't speak as if she wasn't" I laugh.

"Sorry" They say and both laugh weakly.