And In The End

29

September 3rd
Tris's POV
The next morning, I awoke cuddled in Tobias's arms, my lids heavy from sleep. We got up around eight, woke the kids up, and had a silent breakfast. I watched as Blakelyn and Ivey glanced and River nervously, who didn't take her eyes off her plate.

I'm glad, though, that they got to spend time with each other last night, if it was their last night together. When Tobias and I had gone upstairs to say goodnight, we had found the four of them asleep on River's bed, just a tangle of limbs.

After breakfast, everyone dressed in traditional, black, Dauntless clothes. At ten-thirty, we begin making our way to the train. As we walked through the halls, Bellamy kept one arm around River's shoulder, while she gripped Ivey's hand. Blakelyn walked with Tobias, keeping quiet. I think of the three of them, this is hardest on the girls. River has been the best big sister they could ask for. Blakelyn is her best friend, and Ivey looks up to her like no one else. Bellamy, I think, has taken on the role of the protective brother, even though he is younger. He and River are close too.

And though the thought of River leaving hurts me, I know it is ten times worse for Tobias. River is his oldest--and his princess. I don't think he'd ever be able to let her go.

"Tris," I hear someone call from behind me just as we are walking out of Dauntless. Turning around, I find Christina, Will, Everest, and Apollo walking towards us.

"Chris," I breathe, smiling as she links arms with me. I watch Everest walk over to River, taking her into a hug. Will walks in stride with Tobias, neither of them saying anything, while Apollo runs to join Ivey.

"Are you ready?" Chris asks me, smiling sadly.

"To let them go?" I ask, my words hitching in my throat. "No, never."

Tobias's POV
We, along with many other Dauntless families, jump off the train easily, but not gracefully. Everyone is stiff. Stiff with nerves. Few people try to joke around, while others just stride through the streets. The kids walk a few paces ahead of us while I hold onto Tris's hand. Will and Chris share the same embrace next to us. My heart races as we near the ceremony, though I keep my face blank.

Even after the ceremony, the atmosphere will not be calm. Tris and I will race against time, getting back to Dauntless headquarters before the new initiates. No matter what, we'll have to put on our instructor faces and train them, whether River is among them or not.

As we walk into the building, flooding with families dressed in all different colors, memories of my ceremony flood back to me. The utter dread is all I seem to remember. And the look on Marcus's face...

Tris leads our family to an elevator that a small Abnegation family willingly gives up, heading for the stairs. For a moment, the mom and dad become Tris and me. And I watch what my future could've been if I didn't make the best choice of my life all those years ago.

We all stand in the elevator, just our family. Quietly, I tug River out of Bellamy's embrace.

"No matter what happens, Ri," I say, my head leaning atop hers. "We all love you." I feel four more arms wrap around us until the elevator doors flow open.

We find our seats in the crowd of people dressed in black, River sitting between Tris and me. River silently grips her mother's hand.

A woman dressed in blue, Jeanine, walks onto the stage and delivers the speech she gives every year. She walks off the stage swiftly, followed by Abnegation's leader. He walks up to stand behind the bowls, holding a knife in his hand. Then, the calling of names begins.

River's POV
My leg bounces as I absently listen to the names being called. I watch the first person, an Amity boy, walk up to the stage, taking the knife from the Abnegation man's hand. He trails it along his palm quickly, his blood dripping into the bowl full of soil. The next person goes, and the next. I block out the ceremony until I hear Kayla's name called. I hold my breath, watching her walk up to the stage. She walks confidently, and I have no doubt she is content with her decision. Blood collects in her palm and drops into the bowl filled with coals. The Dauntless erupts in cheers. I let out a breath.

A few people later, Ashton's name is called. I watch him walk up to the stage, his emotions far less composed than Kayla's. Ashton takes the knife in his hand but simply stares at it, making no move to cut his hand. The crowd begins murmuring. Ashton looks over his shoulder, into the audience, at his cruel parents. My gaze follows him, finding them looking bored. My blood boils. And so does Ashton's. In a flash, he swipes the blade across his palm and drips his blood onto the coals. The Dauntless erupt again.

The line slowly dwindles, getting closer to Everest who is just two places ahead of me. My eyes train onto the back of his head, watching his olive complexion pale by the minute. As his name is called, I watch him press his shaking hands to his side. Before I know it, his hand is bleeding. I watch in horror as his blood drips onto the glass. Candor. My heart shatters.

Before I can regain my composure, my name is ringing throughout the room. My shaky legs guide me towards the stage, though I feel like I could topple over any moment. Abnegation's leader extends the simple knife to me, and I take it with a shaky hand.

I inhale sharply at the slice of the knife across my palm, staring down at the growing blotch of red. Inhaling deeply, I step forward, my heartbeat in my ears.

My hand shakes over the bowls as I stare at the water, the soil, the stones, and the coals. Blood pools in my fisted hand.

Breathe.

I let out my breath and open my hand. My blood sizzles on the coals.