And In The End

13

September 27th
River's POV
Mommy leads me through the dark Dauntless hallways, toward a part of Dauntless I have never been before. My mind races the whole way there. Something bad happened two days ago, and I'm still not sure what. Daddy said that he killed that man, his dad, my grandpa, but I think there is more. I wish I was older so mommy and daddy would tell me things. If I was older, maybe I could have protected daddy, and that man wouldn't be dead, and he and mommy wouldn't be fighting. There are blue lights along the low ceilings, which are the only source of light. My grip tightens on her hand.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm going to show you where I first met daddy," she says, smiling. I smile, too. Maybe they aren't fighting.

We walk into a big room, with rock walls and a hole in the ceiling. Under the hole, is a big net that could hold lots of people.

"Come on, Ri," she says, lifting me up. The net dips from my weight as I crawl to the center, and again when mommy gets on. I laugh as she tickles me, pulling me to her side, lying on our backs. The sky is just getting dark, a few stars appearing.

"Are you mad at daddy?"

"No, baby," she whispers.

"I am." Mommy sits up, looking at me confused.

"Why, Ri Ri?" I shrug.

"Why did he have to kill him?"

"It was an accident, River," she says softly like she feels bad that I don't understand. "That man started fighting with daddy, and he fell and hurt himself. Daddy didn't do it on purpose." I look down, feeling a little bit better. "Ri Ri, we are going to be okay."

"I know," I smile, looking up at her.

"Come here, baby," she whispers, pulling me into a hug. "When did you get so grown up?" We both laugh.

Tris's POV
It doesn't take us long to fall back into our rhythm, into our normal life. By the time dinner is over, everything seems better. River and Tobias both seem calmer, and I'm not angry anymore. I hold hands with Tobias while he holds Ivey and the kids run ahead. It's not until we are back in the living room that I remember everything. The only thing that escapes me is a sigh.
As the night drags on, our life feels like it is returning to normal. We put the kids to bed like any other night. I sit on the couch, feeding Ivey before putting her down as Tobias cleans up the kitchen.

It's normal, this is normal. Right?

The silence around us is painful.

"I'm going to go put Ivey down," I whisper, taking her upstairs. I hear her breathing softly as I fall back onto the bed, watching her sleep in her crib. I nearly jump out of my skin when Tobias sits next to me.

"Are you okay?" I nod, pressing my hand to my head. "Look. Tris if you're still ma-"

"I'm not mad," I say quickly. "I'm just scared. This all," I say, waving my hands around aimlessly. "It shook me. I haven't been able to catch a breath, and now that I can..." I trail off. "It feels wrong." Tobias looks at me strangely. "I don't know." I shake my head, falling back onto the bed and staring at the ceiling.

"I know," he sighs, lying next to me. I roll over, resting my head on his chest. His arms immediately wrap around my body, pulling me impossibly close.

"I missed you," I whisper. He smiles sadly and presses his lips to my forehead, then my nose, finally resting on my lips. My body fills with warmth as we move together like we have countless times before.

"Do you think," I whisper, my face resting on Tobias's bare chest. His arms hold my bare body against his while he plays with strands of my hair. "That our life can go back to normal now?" Tobias sighs, tilting my chin up to look him in his eyes. His face is still flushed and his eyes glassy. Even here, seeing him at his most vulnerable, he is still the most beautiful person on the planet. His soul is beautiful. And I love him.

"Tris, as long as I am with you, I'm okay. As long as we have our family, we are okay."

"I know," I whisper. "I just mean, do you think our lives can be quiet now? And we can just raise the kids."

"I hope so."

"That doesn't give me much peace of mind," I laugh, my hand running over the small stubble on his chin. Tobias smiles, closing his eyes. I stroke his cheek, gazing at the dark circles under his eyes. Just then, Ivey begins whimpering. I begin getting out of bed, quickly throwing a t-shirt over my body. "You need some sleep. I got her," I whisper. He nods weakly. I quickly change Ivey's diaper, rocking her back to sleep. Climbing back in bed, I lose the t-shirt once more. Tobias rolls over, tucking his head under my chin, holding my body close to his.

"I've got you," I whisper, placing a light kiss on his forehead.