And In The End

08

September 26th
Tris's POV
"You're bleeding," River whispers, pointing to my hand. I bolt up, scooping her in my arms, turning her eyes away from the living room.

"Oh, baby, I'm okay," I choke. In an instant, I climb up the stairs stopping at the top. I set River down. Squatting to her level, I look at her in her beautiful blue eyes. They are Tobias's eyes. I blink away tears.

"Listen, Ri. I need your help. I need you to get dressed and help get the twins dressed," I whisper. She nods. "Then, wait in your room with Koda, okay? Can you do that for me?" She nods again.

"Okay, I love you," I whisper, pulling her into a hug.

"Is everything okay?" I look at her with sad eyes.

"Be brave, okay?" I quickly wipe away a tear that runs down her soft face. "Now, go what I told you." I watch her run into my bedroom before turning back down the stairs. I run into the kitchen, resisting my urge to throw up at the sight of the living room. I run my hand under the sink, quickly wrapping it in a towel while calling Christina.

"Hello?" a groggy voice answers.

"Christina," I breathe.

"Tris? It's 6:30 in the morning. What's wrong?" I choke back another sob.

"I need you to take the kids and Koda. It's an emergency."

"I'll be over in 20 with Shauna," she says, just like that, no questions asked.

"Thank you," I choke, hanging up.

In a blur of tears, I knot the towel around my hand to completely stop the bleeding of my self inflicted wound before I throw up into the sink. I take a moment to compose myself before running back upstairs, completely blinding myself to the living room this time. I run into my bedroom, finding it empty. I quickly prop a chair against the bathroom door in a desperate attempt to lock it. I pull on leggings and a t-shirt, replacing my blooding pajamas, before rushing into River's room. There, Blakelyn sits on her bed, holding Ivey, while River gets Bellamy dressed. Koda sleeps peacefully on the bed, completely unaware of everything. My heart aches at the sight of them, knowing how close they were to evil last night.

"Come on, guys," I whisper, holding Ivey in one arm and holding Blakelyn's hand with the other. The five of us slowly make our way down the stairs, but I stop them before we turn the corner. Blakelyn, Bellamy, and River stand two steps above me as I turn around to look at them. "Okay, here's what we are going to do," I whisper.

I put on a strong front for them, even though I feel like I could throw up again. The sight of the living room makes my stomach churn, and I DO NOT want the kids to see it.

"I'm going to take Ri and Ivey outside while you two stay here." I point at the twins. "Listen, when I take them, don't go anywhere and keep your eyes closed, okay?" They nod. "Tell me you understand."

"We won't move, mommy," Bellamy says.

"And we'll keep our eyes closed," Blakelyn finishes.

"Okay," I breathe out, kissing River on the head as I take her hand in mine. "Close your eyes, baby." I watch her do so, quickly guiding her across the room. "Keep them closed."

I quickly open the front door, still cradling Ivey. "Okay Ri, you can open your eyes now." She does so, looking up at me to see what happens next. "Hold your sister, okay? Be careful. I'm going to go get the twins. Stay here." She nods. My heart pounds in my ears as I rush back inside, leading the twins out to be with River and Ivey. I run back inside once more to get Koda before going back to them. We sit along the wall in silence, waiting.

"What are we doing?" Bellamy asks. "Where's daddy?" My heart stings.

"You guys are going with Auntie Chris and Auntie Shauna today."

"Without you?" I nod. We sit there for a few minutes more before I see Christina and Shauna walking toward us. A weight lifts off my chest.

Tobias's POV
The sound of my heartbeat pounds into my ears, over and over again. The door feels cold against my bare back, along with my sweatpants failing to separate me from the cold floor. My whole body feels cold. Empty. A void. A shudder runs through me when I hear Tris's cries downstairs, talking to Christina.

I hate myself.

Her sobs flow through the walls, burning a hole through my heart. This is all my fault. I did this. I press my hand into my mouth to stifle my own cries. Hot tears stream down my face.

What the hell was I thinking? My kids were right upstairs. Tris was right upstairs. What kind of father am I?

Maybe I am like him, bringing violence into my home, surrounding my family with it. Tris is never going to forgive me. I'll never forgive myself either.

"I'm so sorry."

The whisper echos through the bathroom, bouncing off the cold walls. My head pounds. I feel the walls closing in on me, choking me out. I gasp for air through my sobs. My shoulders collapse over my body, my hands pulling at my hair. I pound my fist on the cold floor, trying to express what I am feeling, everything I am feeling.

Then, as quickly as the rage started, it stops. My sobs cease and I buckle over, my body covering the floor. My vision blurs through my tears and I close my eyes.
I want to disappear.

Not a moment later, a light comes in. My eyes shoot open at the sound of the door opening, and a sob escapes my mouth once more. I look up at Tris, standing in the doorway, looking at me with stone-cold eyes and tears on her face.

What have I done to us, to our family?