Snake Bite || Sapnap

11

  C/W: Depression and a depressive episode, implications of self harm

  I took a deep breath as I let the phone ring in my hand. I had told Sapnap that I'd go to bed three hours ago, but I couldn't. My mind was running far too fast to relax. I anxiously played with the strings on my hoodie as I waited to see if who I was looking for was awake.

  "Why the fuck are you awake?" Will's voice came through the phone. I knew he wouldn't be asleep.

  I sighed. "I can't sleep."

  "Do you need me to come over?" He took on a less aggressive tone at my clear distress.

  I shook my head to myself. "Definitely not. I don't think I could say this to your face."

  "Say what, exactly?" Will's concern made me regret my call, but I was too far now.

  "You were right." I admitted as I stood up from my bed.

  "About what? I'm right about a lot of things." He teased.

  I rolled my eyes. "Shut up. Sapnap. You were right about Sapnap."

  "Wait, what was I right about?" He questioned. I couldn't tell if he was just trying to get me to say it, but I didn't have enough energy to care.

  "I like him." I felt like I had let go of a breath I had been holding for a week now.

  He scoffed. "No shit, Mel."

"Listen, Will, this is a lot for me!" I complained.

"No. I know." He seemed to be carefully thinking over his words, afraid to hit a nerve, afraid I might shatter. "Mel, what was in that package?"

I felt heat rise to my cheeks as I looked at the oversized hoodie that I was still wearing. "Well it certainly didn't help the situation."

"What was it?" Will pushed.

"It's one of his hoodies." I mumbled dejectedly.

"Okay..." He seemed to trail off in thought. "So, there's actually nothing going on between you two? Friends don't randomly send friends their hoodie."

"Well, it wasn't random." I tried to defend myself. "On Halloween, he had mentioned wanting to see me in one of his hoodies because of how small I am. He threatened to send it to you for me, but I thought he was fucking joking."

Will chuckled. "I have a question for you."

"What?" I questioned timidly.

"What are you wearing right now?" He had me figured out.

"Jeez Will, you can't just ask a woman what they're wearing, creep." I turned it into a joke.

"Yeah. If anyone asks you that, tell me so I can beat their ass. You know what I meant, idiot. Your lack of an answer is an answer in and of itself." He knew me well and it pissed me off.

"Just, shut up." I groaned. "I'm wearing his sweatshirt. Happy?"

"You're making this worse for yourself." Will sighed. "I know I can't stop you. You can't really even stop yourself, can you?"

"What if I don't want to stop it?" I murmured.

"I don't want you hurt." He explained himself. "Mel, you haven't actually met the guy and he lives on a different continent. You haven't even known him that long."

"I know him better than you do." I argued.

"I'll be the first to admit that you do. Of course you do. That doesn't make it a good idea." He tried to convince me.