Snake Bite || Sapnap

14

  I didn't expect quarantining to feel as lonely as it did. It didn't help that I had spent the past two weeks constantly hanging out with people either. I didn't regret it, but it didn't make me feel any better. I'd find myself noticing just how much my friends weren't online. They all had lives they were attending to.

The only life I had at the moment was streaming and even that was taking a toll on me. It was just a constant bombardment of questions about me moving and complaints that I had upset Wilbur. It was true, but I didn't blame myself. I was just as upset, but it was just part of moving on in my life. It just wasn't fun to see the kinds of messages I was receiving for it.

Most people were happy for me online, but the minority that were upset with me for living my life seemed to be louder. I never expected moving back to America to increase the amount of hate I got. It didn't make sense to me, but the internet never made much sense.

I never had the best public image, but because of how alone I was feeling, the increased hate was getting to me. I'd often been labeled a slut on the internet, but I'd never let that get to me. The only things that got to me before were the people sexualizing me. I'd been dealing with it since I had started, when I was seventeen, and it used to scare the shit out of me. I'd learned to stand up for myself, but in recent months I'd just ignored it for the most part. The fights that it used to get me into had permanently tarnished my image and more people seemed to be bringing it up now that the entire internet seemed to be mad at me for one reason or another.

Normally when things got like this, I'd have Tommy, Will, or Niki stream with me as a distraction, but they all had a ton going on with the Dream SMP. All of my friends had a ton going on with one thing or another.

This lead me to nights like tonight, where I was streaming alone in my room and trying my best to filter chat. Sapnap had been calling me earlier in the day, but he had to leave to do something.

"Fit check?" The robotic voice of a donation sounded through my headphones as a bit of a distraction.

I looked down at myself and chuckled. "I'm not wearing anything particularly nice today. I'm just in comfy shit." I stood up from my chair anyways and showed the fact that I was just wearing some leggings and the sweatshirt that I had forgotten to take off before stream, Sapnap's. "Just a sweatshirt and some leggings. Nothing special." I sat back down and gave a small smile to my camera.

I had forgotten that I was wearing Sapnap's sweatshirt, but I assumed no one would notice. There weren't enough pictures of him for one specific sweatshirt to be noticeable. Nothing was special about a navy blue Nike sweatshirt and I didn't care enough to give it any extra thought.

I looked over at the chat and laughed. "True. You caught me slacking today. I have a lot of my stuff packed already, so I'm not giving you guys the best looks right now."

  I absentmindedly spun in my chair. "You know what happened earlier today? I was packing up some stuff and I tripped over my suitcase." I pulled my sleeve up to reveal the bruise on my arm. "This is what I get for getting distracted." I'd been on the phone with Sapnap and he was trying to show me something, but I didn't stop walking when I looked over. He wouldn't stop laughing at me when I nearly landed face first.

  I found that my chat was fairly positive for the night and happily answered some questions they had about what my plans were for the near future in America. They weren't the kind of invasive questions that made me anxious and I was happy to give them a bit of information about how the next couple weeks would go.

"Yeah. I'm gonna be back to my old set up in like three weeks, but-" My words were cut off by an incoming Discord call. I curiously switched tabs. I wasn't expecting anybody to call me. I smiled once I saw who it was and accepted. "Hey, Sapnap! I'm live."