Snake Bite || Sapnap

27

C/W: Depression

"Will, I think I fucked up."

"Huh?" Will mumbled in a half asleep response. "Mel, what the hell is going on?"

  "Sorry." I took a deep breath to try and calm myself down. "I just- I fucked everything up."

  "What are you talking about?" He was waking up slowly, motivated by the sound of my panic. "Mel, you need to explain to me what the hell you're talking about."

  "Nick. I kissed Nick and he's gone." I tried to explain myself through my own late onset panic.

  "This is about Sapnap?" He seemed to only be more confused than before. "What did he do? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

  I shook my head before he could even entertain the idea. "No. No, of course not. I fucked up. He didn't do anything wrong. I think I messed things up so bad, Will."

  "Mel, I need you to take a deep breath for me." Will gently requested.

  I closed my eyes and took another deep breath. I was far more worked up over this than I probably should've been.

"Now, can you actually tell me what the fuck is going on? All I've gathered is that you kissed Sapnap and that's not much to go off of here." He prompted for what felt like the tenth time.

"Nick was over here yesterday and I fucking made out with him like an idiot, Will." I let myself flop backwards onto my bed in defeat.

"This happened yesterday and you're telling me now?" He complained. "Does Bea know?"

"Yes, Bea knows." I felt a frown settle across my lips.

"And you didn't tell me!" He continued to complain. I could tell that he was only trying to joke to lighten the mood, but I wasn't having it.

"Listen, that's not important right now." I waved him off. "The problem here is that I fucking kissed him and he's literally leaving for Florida in a couple hours and we never even discussed it."

Will was quiet for a moment, still trying to process my words with his groggy brain. "Oh."

"Oh? That's all you have to say?" My frown deepened.

"Listen, I just woke up to you stressing about fucking kissing Sapnap. Give me a moment here." He defended himself. "Last time you actually talked to me about how you felt about him, you were here."

  I thought back to that night that I finally admitted the feelings I had for Sapnap to Will. "You told me it was okay that I didn't know."

  "Do you still not know?" He questioned. "I mean, I know you like him and clearly he feels the same if you guys kissed."

  I stared at the ceiling, deep in thought. "Let's say he did feel the same, then what? Will, I like him, I really fucking do, but I don't think I'm ready to even tell him that."

  "You already kissed him, Mel." He pointed out. "He's gonna want to talk about it eventually."

  "I know." I groaned. "I just really don't think I can have that discussion and he fucking knows it."

  "Does he?" The question was more accusatory than inquisitive.

  "Yes. He does." I started to massage my temple in frustration. "I kissed him on New Years and when he tried to talk about it, I shut him down."

  Will sighed on the other end of the phone. "You said he's leaving for Florida?"

  I nodded to myself. "Yeah. I already said goodbye to him."