Snake Bite || Sapnap

13

  I had managed to get Bea and Karl off of my ass by telling them I'd consider taking their offer. Being a woman of my word, I was left to think things over. Sapnap had made the mistake of offering to stay on call with me whilst I thought out loud.

  "I want to go back, but I don't. You know?" I continued to ramble before he could even offer an answer. "Like, I don't want them to have to help me out here. I don't think I can afford to pay Karl back right now with the short notice on the tickets and with rent for this month. I can't just interrupt Bea's life either. She works night shifts and would have like an opposite schedule to me."

  "It would only be two weeks." Sapnap reasoned.

  "That would also be two weeks where I'm making nothing. I can't afford that." I pointed out, finding further issues with the plan.

  "You'd have those two weeks where you can't stream no matter when you come back, though." He seemed confused as to why I was so worried about it being then.

  "Yes, but I could keep saving if I wait." I started to anxiously swivel my chair. "I can't afford gifts either if I have those two weeks right before Christmas where I can't stream."

  "Medusa, I don't think anyone will care if you don't get them Christmas gifts." Sapnap tried to calm me down. "You're gonna be enough of a gift when everyone back home sees you again, right?"

  I shook my head. "I don't know. I'm more of a burden than a gift in this case."

  "Trust me, I'd be ecstatic if I got to see you as a Christmas present. I'm sure everyone else feels the same." His tone was sincere.

  I tried to hold back the smile that was trying to push its way onto my lips. "I think that might just be you, Nick. What? You want me to see you for Christmas?" I teased.

  He chuckled. "As if you'd ever come to Texas."

  "I might for you." I felt my face drop as realization of my words dawned on me. I didn't mean to say that.

  There was a moment of silence before Sapnap spoke. "Don't say that." He chuckled, but it sounded sad. "I know you're kidding, but don't get my hopes up like that."

  I felt like my heart broke at his tone. "I wasn't kidding." My voice was barely above a whisper.

  The silence that took over our call was deafening. Why would I say that? I sounded absolutely insane. I'd probably just scared him away, but he was too kind to say anything. It felt like neither of us spoke for an eternity as my words hung heavy in the static of our headphones.

  "You'd have to come back home for that." Sapnap pointed out timidly, bringing back a bit of our joking tone.

  I snickered and turned away from my monitor. "Yeah. I would."

  "Maybe you should take Karl's offer to see me." I couldn't tell if we were joking anymore. When did he stop joking? How long had I not noticed that he wasn't completely joking?

  "Maybe I will." My words fell off my tongue like I'd been holding them there for a while. Was I joking? I couldn't determine it myself.

  I could feel the strange tension that had formed in the air between us, stretching thousands of miles. I buried my head in the hoodie I was wearing, trying to dodge it, but I was only met with the smell of cologne, his cologne.

  "What are you thinking?" Sapnap's words were low and soothing. He didn't have to be specific in his question for me to understand.

  I thought about being able to wrap my arms around Bea again, driving home in her car and jamming to our old playlist. I'd be able to hug Sean and act as if I wouldn't hug Karl, just to make him annoyed. I'd spend my two weeks with Bea and she'd somehow convince me to dye my hair again.