Boo

Ch. 25

Logan slowly slipped into the apartment.

He sighed, spotting Remus still sitting on the couch. Logan pursed his lips, before walking past him and into his room.

---

Logan came back to the same scene the next day.

He hesitated, before walking past Remus and into his room.

---

The third day Logan came back to that, he shook his head and sat down next to Remus.

"Rem?" He called gently. Remus' eyes sluggishly met Logan's. "Hey."

"Hey." Remus croaked. "Long time no talk."

"I'm sorry." Logan told him quietly. "I could've saved him."

"You would've died."

"That sounds better than this." Logan sighed. Remus frowned, but didn't comment. "I hate seeing you like this."

"You'd think I'd be less affected by death, considering I'm a ghost." Remus smiled weakly.

"You have the right to be affected by this. You two were so close." Logan insisted. "You're allowed to be upset, Remus."

"Thanks, Lo." Remus sighed. "...You know what the worst part is?"

"What?"

"I couldn't even go to his funeral." Remus looked away from Logan, most likely to hide the fact that he was tearing up. "The universe couldn't even give me that." He laughed humorlessly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't go for you."

Remus snorted. "What were you going to do? Record it?" He looked at Logan again, searching his expression. "I'm not sure you could have even got out of bed." He pursed his lips. "How have you been, Lo? You've not looked...alright for awhile."

"I'm fine." Logan told him, because he was. He was supposed to be, anyhow.

"That smells strongly of bullshit." Remus lightly scolded. "You can talk to me, Lo. I've shared so much with you. You can tell me how you're feeling."

"I'm fine, really." Logan reassured, as if the room wasn't suddenly too hot, yet too cold. "I barely knew him, Ree. It wouldn't make sense for me to be so torn up."

"I didn't ask how you felt about Emile's death, I asked how you've been." Remus reminded him gently.

Logan froze, not really sure how to respond to that.

"You went through something traumatic, Logan. You're not obligated to tell me anything, but just know that I would never judge you. I know Janus would never judge. Certainly not Patton or my brother." He looked as if was about to reach a hand out to touch him, but decided against it and put his hand back down. "You have people who care for you, Lo."

Logan still didn't say anything, the air suddenly feeling too thick to breathe.

"I know I'm not exactly the most...comforting presence." Remus chuckled weakly. "But you can talk to me too, y'know."

It was silent for a long while after that.

"I..." Logan began, pretending not to notice when Remus perked up. "I've never...experienced anything like this before."

He glanced up at Remus' expression, amd gained a little more courage when he saw that how intently the ghost was listening to him.

"I just feel...wrong. Like I don't belong in my own skin." He shifted uncomfortably where he sat. "Emile was so bright, I only knew him for a little bit, but I could already see that." Logan exhaled shakily. "And I'm just...well, me. Awkward, clumsy, insecure, afraid to stick out."

"That's--" Remus tried to interject, but apparently thought better of it and snapped his mouth shut.

"And yet--" Logan felt himself tearing up. He wasn't sure why, he didn't cry often. He cleared his throat. "And yet I was the one who lived. I walked away unharmed and that's just so unfair."

He pursed his lips, not bothering to look and see Remus' reaction. "And ever since then," He ran a tired hand through his hair. "It's like that moment follows me wherever I go. When I blink, when it's quiet, when it's dark. Hell, I nearly passed out when I went to grab a pen from under my desk."

"Logan, get under my desk."

He swallowed, forcing the memory away. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you." Remus told him firmly. "These are human reactions, Logan. It's not unusual or weird for you to be feeling like this."

"It's not?" Logan tilted his head. "Really?"

"No, it's fairly normal, actually." Remus said, smiling reassuringly. "Hate to break it to you, but you're not a weirdo, sugarcube."

"I'm not?" Logan whispered, feeling like a weight had been taken off of his shoulders.

"Nope." Remus shook his head. "And if Emile was here, he would probably be able to tell you the exact problem." He said. "But since he's not, you get me. And my diagnosis is that you're being too hard on yourself."

Remus snorted. "Logan Berry being too hard on himself, imagine that. Perish the thought." He sighed sarcastically.

Logan chuckled, sniffling slightly. He wiped at his eyes, feeling so relieved, he couldn't put it to words.

Remus softened. "If I could, I would hug the shit out of you right now." He told Logan. "I think we both need it."

Something changed that night.

They both knew, their relationship had shifted dramatically.

A/N:

Fun fact: The only reason I killed off Emile was because as I was writing chapter 22, I thought to myself: "what if I just killed Emile off rn?"

Also this took like 10 years for no reason.