.because you stop the noise

18May15 - Conception

The rules were already set in place. Gerard had spent more hours than Bert was even aware of thinking it all through, imagining it, evaluating his feelings and all the repercussions. It was simple. He chose Samantha because she's a full blown lesbian who definitely wouldn't be catching weird feelings for his husband. She'd done this with a couple once before and it was clear that she also wouldn't be running off crying and trying to keep their baby, if it all worked. Gerard likes her. If anything, he likes her more than Bert seems to.

Bert on the other hand, was too fucking nervous about the situation. He didn't wanna seem too keen, too interested in the actual woman, for fear than any enthusiasm would have a negative effect on Gerard. To him Samantha seemed nice enough, Pretty dark haired women with long legs, smart, is a reader, has no idea who either of them are because she's such a damn 'I only listen to intellectual underground instrumental tribal type shit and maybe some throat singing' kind of lesbian and to be honest, Bert found that slightly intimidating. Like now he had to work to impress her somehow cause she was so far underground that to her being in a rock band was commerical.

Also in Gerard's list of rules it was all specified exactly how this would happen, where, when, all of it. His morbid curiosity about the idea of seeing what his bisexual husband was like with a woman put the 'I will be there to watch' clause in. Even though Bert had to explain to him that agreeing to the standing position while she lays down on the bed, as well as not being allowed to kiss her or play with her, was definitely not going to give Gerard any kind of insight into what he is like with women. A thought that made Gerard bitter for a whole day, until some more reading and research justified to himself his next idea, "Turns out having an orgasm makes it more likely for the jizz to take. So still no kissing or holding but I'll remove the 'no trying to make her come' clause."

It was a while of back and forth but Gerard needed all this negotiation and writing things down. He needed to make the boundries solid to make sure he didn't end up pulling his own hair out. Spending time with Sam to make sure she's the right one. Especially because she would of course be moving in for the duration the pregnancy. Gerard loves lesbians. He relates to them in ways he doesn't even relate to straight women or other men. Evident in is former 'situation'. Gerard might have the soul of a lesbian who for some odd reason, prefers men. Men who can sometimes pretend to be a lesbian with him. Bert is many things on this planet and it was pretty clear right from the beginning that they both have major chunks of themselves that identify with the more delicate sex. Gerard often wondered if the two of them are in love twice. The first layer being physical. Each other's bodies and who they are as men. Not wanting any of it to change because they like it all. And the second layer being spiritual and psychological, one lesbian soul to a female bisexual soul just enjoying playing in boy bodies. Also not wanting to change but recognizing one another and loving each other. He's never said this shit out loud of course but he has considered it. And wondered if such a thing could be possible. He isn't even sure he believes in souls and stuff. But he has considered that perhaps that is why he and Bert have such an intense connection. Why through all the hell; moments where neither one of them knew if they would come out of this alive, their attachment to each other still ended up being stronger than anything in the world.

Last time Bert had sex with anyone else was a good 4 years prior and the last time he'd even smelled a vagina was 2007. Which, jesus, now that he thought about it, was a little cruel. But a cruelty he could live with for the sake of the man he loves. Though it didn't seem like Gerard would be up for slipping on a sexy little satin nighty anytime soon either. Even if Gerard wanted to try and have sex, which he had tried a few times in the last few months, the attempt didn't last long. Bert isn't into the idea of fucking someone who clearly isn't all the way turned on. The hardest Gerard's been wouldn't be able to hold a face cloth up, nevermind a towel. The effects of the meds can last anywhere between 3 to 6 months and it seemed that Gerard was in for the 5 month jackpot so far.