.because you stop the noise

30Oct07 - (not)effortless

October 30, 2007 - Los Angeles Hotel Room

Bert rested his hand against the wall, watching the light yellow fluid drain from the tip of his cock. He never used to pee like that... with his hand against whatever wall was in front of him. Not until he saw Gerard piss like that. You know how sometimes you see someone do something and you decide to do it cause you find it amusing or you wanna tease them and then it just kind'a sticks? Well... this was one of those things. Luckily Bert didn't pick up the other weird thing Gerard does when he takes a piss. If he did, he would've passed out long ago cause this was one of those neverending sessions.

It would be okay, if not for the gnawing feeling in the back of his head, the fear, the nervousness. He was so fucking stupid and he kept telling himself that. 'Why did you go get him? Why did you do this to yourself again? By the time you walk out this door, he's gonna be gone.' Bert was almost frozen with fear and he wondered if he would ever feel secure ever again with anyone. If he walked out that bathroom door and Gerard wasn't there anymore... in the room they ran away to together... the hotel. It had to be a hotel this time. Gerard was getting used to luxury and a dingy motel room just wouldn't do. What was Bert supposed to do? Snatch him from his Los Angeles Villa and stick him in a rotten room smelling of mold and filled with someone else's pubes.

And yet... nothing made Bert feel even the slightest bit better about this whole thing. Not the nice room... excuse me... hotel fucking suite... not the earth-shattering sex, okay... maybe the sex helped a little, but still Bert told himself Gerard had already run away. He wouldn't be there. He was already catching a cab home to his wife or to find Frank. The thought was driving Bert crazy. And he'd only been standing there for a minute but it felt like hours. Hours of torment. He almost didn't even wanna leave the bathroom at all and just stay there. There where the only thing happening was Bert shaking his dick and flushing the toilet.

But Bert couldn't just sit in that goddamn bathroom forever. At some point he would need a beer and none of these taps look like they were installed by a brewery. So he did what any, only slightly inebriated man would do. He put his dick back in his boxers and made for the door. Hand pressed down on the handle, he pushes the door open, bracing himself for the sight of an empty bed. Only what he saw stopped him dead in his tracks and provoked an immediate snort.

Gerard was half laying on his stomach, two knuckles deep in his own ass with a look of deep concentration on his face. He wasn't even started at all by Bert's reappearance. Instead he just pulled his fingers inspecting them. "I forgot how fuckin' weird this feels." and chuckles a little, playing with the substance between his fingers.

"How weird what feels?" Bert asked, blushing a bit. He wasn't ready to hear about how the sex actually wasn't earthshattering but rather just... weird.

"Jizz... right in the money-maker." Gerard squirms as Bert just looks on half stunned and half amused. He didn't think Gerard has ever looked more adorable in his entire life. "I mean it... it doesn't stop. Holy shit, Bert." and he goes back to what Bert can only assume is digging for more. "It's so squishy."

Bert bursts out giggling, crawling up onto the bed to smack Gerard's hand away from his ass. "Leave your butt alone. What I do with it is none of your business."

Gerard spins his head around to squint at Bert who proceeded to crawl up on him and straddle his thighs so he sat up right below Gerard's butt as he grabbed a good two handfuls. "What're'ya doin' over there, big boy?"

Bert's gaze moved from Gerard's tasty bottom to his own stomach, which did NOT look the way it did when they were at their happiest. "You like it?" He asks tapping and rubbing his belly.

"Hmmmm..." Gerard smiles, biting his lip. He'd always liked the small boys but something about this less than delicate chunk of man on his ass, especially when all he'd wanted the last two months was a fucking man's body on him... something about it was just so fucking delicious. Gerard especially loved his arms and shoulders. Everything was filled out, even his butt. It was awesome. "There's a whole lot more squishy between us than there ever was before huh?"

Bert's hands move back to Gerard's butt, then up his sides, grabbing at whatever handfuls of flesh he could get. "I really like squishy." Bert lowers himself onto Gerard, nuzzling into his neck. "Especially on you." Bert starts kissing behind Gerard's neck, moving around through his thick hair to his ear. That same distrusting feeling coming over him again. "Why me? Why'didn't you ask that other little shit at the party to get you outta there?"

Gerard paused his approving humming for a moment to think about the question. Clearly Bert was insecure and while Gerard didn't expect smooth sailing after all they've put each other through, he still wasn't exactly prepared for these types of questions. He didn't analyse his choice. He just... he just typed that message out and sent it to the person he wanted to kiss the most. The person he wanted to run away with. Simple as that. "Because you love me, even when you hate me... especially when you hate me. And..."

"And?" Bert waits patiently.

"And because I think you smell the best on warm days too."

Bert paused, pulling his face back a little. He hadn't expected that answer. And how was he to know how much of an impact those words had made on Gerard? All he meant was that he likes how Gerard smells, especially when he's been sweating and maybe hasn't showered. After days on the road in the same outfit. Bert loves the way Gerard smells at it's worst. At times when everyone else would be begging him to take a shower, Bert wanted to wrap himself in Gerard and never let go. And now apparently... Gerard was saying the same thing to him. And for some reason, it means more than anything. "Does that mean we're doing this for real?"

But the first thing that comes out of Gerard's mouth is a very panicked, "I'm not coming out, Bert."

But Bert shook his head, continuing his trail of kisses from one ear to the other. "I don't need you to come out. I just need you to not walk out."

Everything goes quiet as Gerard releases a shakey breath. "Bert. All I can say is... this is exactly where I wanna be right now. Can that please be enough for now? I don't wanna hurt you and the only way I know how to not do that is to tell you that so long as this goes on, I promise... I won't lie to you this time, not again. I owe you that much."

Bert doesn't respond. Instead he just starts trailing kissing down Gerard's spin. Crawling lower and lower.

"What're you doin'?"

"You were the one complaining. Guess I gotta clean up this mess down here."